Sunday, July 29, 2012

A busy week ahead

One of the things we do in the Foreign Service is taking care of people visiting from Washington.  It may just be someone on Temporary Duty to help out in times of personnel shortages, or someone for a conference.  Or, and this happens a lot, we take care of VIPs from Washington.  Whether it's the Undersecretary for Management or a Congressional Delegation (known as a CODEL) or even a visit from staffers on the hill (known as a STAFFDEL), we do our best to provide them with the best service possible so they can get their work done.

We have a visit like that this week.  Can't say much about it, but it'll be in the news.  We've just got to make sure we do everything right and keep everyone happy.  As my boss told me earlier this year when we hosted a large conference, "As long as everyone leaves here upright and above room temperature, you'll have done a good job."  Smart guy that.

Everyone in the Consulate and Embassy chips in on visits.  Even if it's a small visit, we have people always concerned about security, communications, hotels, transportation and numerous other issues.  Needless to say, most of that falls onto me, the Management officer.

This time we've got a few other issues that we're dealing with.  Lovely English Lass is now the Community Liaison Officer at the Consulate, and will be involved in planning this as well.  (Trying to set up trips for people not involved in the visit, etc.)  Anyways, during the visit is the first day that Lovely Little Girl starts her new school.  Crazy, right?  The school expects LEL and I to come and talk to the parents and explain to them a bit about Autism, and answer any questions about LLG and the Autism Spectrum.  Smack in the middle of the visit.  The school is 45 minutes away from the Consulate.  That is going to be a busy day with a lot of driving.

Another issue is the fact that my assistant just went on Maternity leave on Friday.  We just hired her 4 months ago.  (To be fair, she's been a fantastic assistant, and I would hire her again.)  My HR assistant asked me after we hired her if I'd noticed she was pregnant.  My response: "Unless I actually see the baby coming out, I don't assume a woman is pregnant until she tells me.  It keeps me from getting punched."

This will be a fun visit to handle.  Lots of things to do, but we're ready.  The Local Staff are ready to help out, and really they do a lot of work.  Many of you who are not a part of the State Department probably don't realize that most of our staffing in Embassies and Consulates oversees is by Local Staff members.  LEL was actually a local staff member in London, which is how we met.

One last story about visits, and I'll stop.  My first assignment was in Suriname.  We had a visit from at that time Commander in Chief of SOUTHCOM Peter Pace.  (He went on to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs.)  I was late to the reception at the Ambassador's residence because I was dealing with money that had to be safely locked away.  As I walked up, the Ambassador introduces me like this: "General, this is Jay Parker.  He's been in charge of logistics for your trip."  Me: "Sir, how have you enjoyed your stay?"  General (with grim look on his face): "You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I've never been more embarrassed in my life."  Me: (Horrified Look on his face). General (big grin on his face): "Son, take it easy!  I'm just kidding!"  Me: "Sir, I fully believe Ambassadors and Generals should not have senses of humor."

Any of my foreign service friends out there have a good story about a visit?

Friday, July 27, 2012

Friday's My Inner Lester Bangs: Blur

(note: on Friday's I'll talk about random stuff.  Please get used to it.)

Much of the cool events in my life have been accompanied to the strains of a Blur song.

The very first time I heard a Blur song was the summer of 1997.  I was at University as part of the orientation crew.  (Colonial Cabinet Represent!)  We all had to act in sketches that dealt with life on a college campus.  One of the sketches dealt with coming out as gay to your roommates, and how some people might react.  Or, more importantly, to prepare the incoming students that one of their roommates was in fact gay.

So this sketch was written by one of the guys in the group based off his experience.  We all had to put a song with the sketch that helped set the mood.  For this sketch, he chose "Girls and Boys" from Blur. A very good song, and perfect for the occasion.

Now I had already heard about Britpop.  Oasis was huge in the states at that time, and "Wonderwall" was a massive song.  But I hadn't heard about Blur until then.  I didn't know they had already released 5 albums by 1997, and that they were about to hit it huge with "Song 2."  They just sounded different, but familiar at the same time.

If you get the chance, and can find it for less than $100 somewhere, try to find the book, The Last Party: Britpop, Blair and the demise of English Rock.  Amazing book, and I wish to goodness I could find the person who I loaned mine to and never got back!  One part of it is about Blur, and how they were against the Grunge movement in the US, and tried to be a bit more British.  Their influences were The Kinks and Small Faces.  They followed in the footsteps of The Stone Roses, Happy Mondays and others that made British Pop music so special.

Starting with their album, Modern Life is Rubbish, and following up with Parklife and The Great Escape, Blur created a distinctly British sound that rocked.  The lead singer, Damon Albarn, basically wanted to be Ray Davies of the Kinks.  "Parklife" was a great song, with a bouncy tune and lyrics that were sardonic and upbeat at the same time.  Phil Daniels did the vocals for the verses, which was a sly nod to his role in Quadrophenia.


Of course then came "Song 2".  It was supposed to be tongue in cheek people!  On the album titled Blur, it follows the fantastic song, "Beetlebum".  Normal bands don't start off an album with a downer song like Beetlebum, and then follow it with stadium rock of "Song 2."  The band was just messing with you.  Still, Graham Coxon's guitar intro is awesome, followed by the pounding guitars and bass.  Just perfect.

I did finally get to see Blur live in concert, but sadly it was after Graham had left the band.  It was at the Reading Festival in 2003, and Blur headlined the 2nd night.  They played everything, including stuff off their final album, Think Tank, which had been produced by Fatboy Slim.  Two moments stand out in my memory.  Albarn playing "Out of Time" from the final album, which was haunting, and "Song 2."  The entire place jumped up and down, and even though we were outside I could feel the world move.  That's what music is supposed to do.

Damon Albarn later started Gorillaz and the band The Good The Bad and The Queen with a member of the Clash.  He also wrote the music for the movie Ordinary Decent Criminal which wasn't that bad really.  Blur were a thing of the past, until the decided not to be.  The reunited in 2009, released some new songs, toured and basically picked up where they left off.  They've released more music since then ("Under the Westway" is great!) and will play the big concert in Hyde Park for the end of the Olympics with New Order and The Specials.  All they need to do now is tour, and they could again be the best band in Britain.  But that probably won't happen.

As I said, Blur's music has been in the background to some of the big moments in my life since I first heard them.  My wife doesn't know this, but the first night I ever walked her to the tube in the rain, on the way back I for some reason started singing "Parklife."  When we got married and walked into the reception hall, we did it to the strains of "Song 2."  So Blur will always have a place for me.

I highly recommend the following for you: Go buy the three albums I mentioned above, along with the songs "Beetlebum", "song 2" and "Out of Time."  Watch the movie Live Forever about Britpop and see once again how the Spice Girls almost ruined civilization, and try to find the book The Last Party.  Graham Coxon's solo work is great, and Gorillaz is briliant.  (Download "Clint Eastwood", "Dirty Harry" and "Stylo".)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A jolting experience

Lovely English Lass is now working here at the Consulate.  Yeah!  Two paychecks!

We had a lot of hoops to jump through, but it was worth it, and now she helps the community feel more like a community.  Whether they are Locally Employed Staff members or Eligible Family Members (EFM) or even just someone here on TDY, it is LELs job to make sure they feel like a part of the group.

LEL hasn't worked since she threw her life away and married me to roam the world together.  With two kids under the age of 6, it was very expensive to have day care, so she stayed home with both of them.  Something for which I appreciate her even more when she goes away for a few hours and leaves me with my pride and joys.

She knows me as husband, daddy and Batman enthusiast, but not as Management Officer extraordinaire. The person she knows at home tells corny jokes, knows waaaayyy too much about movies and music, and in general is a not so serious type of person.

So here she comes in during the first day of her time here, and she sits in on the Senior Staff meeting held every week.  The CG and I are joking about something, and LEL just thinks I'm my same goof-ball self.

Then, comes the actual meeting.  It came to my turn to speak, and LEL told me later she got a jolt out of the transformation.  Her husband had suddenly become the Management Officer and a Diplomat.  Imagine the surprise!  (Granted I'd always been those things, but she never really sees me at work, now does she?)

As we discussed it later, I had to laugh.  I mean, I'd been acting Consul General while the CG was out of the country.  I've been in charge of Management Sections on two different continents and held a pretty decent job doing logistics for the US Mission in Afghanistan from Washington.  How did she think I acted during that time?  I suppose it makes sense, but I still think it's funny.  Yes I wear Batman cuff-links to work (and I'm wearing them now) and yes I have a magic eightball on my desk which I used once to tell an irate EFM that I wasn't going to break the law for him, but all in all I do my job pretty decently.

Still it's great to have her here working.  Once a week we take an hour and go have lunch away from the Consulate.  It's a good time for us to just be us again.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Welcome to the New Blog

I have migrated to a new blog, so that I can freely discuss other things without my family name in the title. Needless to say, I shall talk about life here in the Foreign Service, but also about life in General.  Fridays, if I post that much, will be a random post discussing whatever is on my mind.  (Be afraid!  Be very afraid!)  I'll still talk about Crazy Little Man, Lovely Little Girl and Lovely English Lass, but also more about the lifestyle we lead.  Some people may be interested in what I do, and where we go, and I'll talk a little more about it.  I've also opened it up so that people can search for me.

Quick explanation of the title of my blog.  HHE is household effects.  That is when you truly have arrived at post, as all of your stuff is now with you.  (Except for the stuff in storage.)  Anyways, it always feels like Christmas when you get your HHE, as you sometimes forget you had something.  (Like a quesadilla maker, or juicer.)  So you truly are home when the HHE arrives.

We're now 1/3 of the way through our tour, and I figure to have some great stuff coming through soon.  Hopefully more photos and such.  Please feel free to leave me comments, and please keep it polite.  My parents read my blog you know.

Friday, July 20, 2012

And You Shall know her by her trail of Hello Kitty's....

As most of you know, Lovely Little Girl is on the Autism Spectrum.  Very high functioning, but still on the spectrum.  One of the things you learn when you do research into Autism Spectrum Disorder is that many people on the Spectrum have special interests.  Boys tend (and I'm generalizing here) to obsess over things like trains or something else.  They become fixated and obsessed.  Girls also do, but they (and again I'm generalizing) tend to obsess over things that girls like.

My daughter is a Hello Kitty fiend.  Strange since both her mother and I are dog people.  In fact we both believe that cats are sent from hell to spy on us.  We've never had a cat, and since Lovely English Lass is very allergic to them, never will.  So imagine my surprise when LLG suddenly took an interest in Hello Kitty.

You see, LLG has had many special interests.  There was first Upsy Daisy from "In the Night Garden", and then it was Sleeping Beauty.  Shortly after that it was Ernie from Sesame Street.  Then came Hello Kitty.  And to be fair to all of them, this one seems to have stuck for a bit.

My daughter is now a Hello Kitty industry unto herself.  She almost never goes out without at least one Hello Kitty on her body, and numerous times carries at least one Hello Kitty doll with her.  She has at least 3 Hello Kitty toothbrushes, one Hello Kitty toothbrush holder, 3 Hello Kitty dolls, one Hello Kitty egg-shaper (it makes hard boiled eggs look like Hello Kitty) a few Hello Kitty containers, and numerous clothing options including socks, shirts, nightshirts and hats.

We counted the other day at dinner, and she was wearing 7 Hello Kitty items of clothing.  It's one of those things you notice if you see her all the time.  She begs to be allowed to wear Hello Kitty.

As a male with two brothers, this kind of obsession with Hello Kitty is a bit weird for me.  I had my obsessions of course, but it was never like this.  (At least I think not.  Mom and Dad, no comments from you please.)  However, it does seem to be perfectly normal for kids her age to love Hello Kitty.  (Or Sleeping Beauty, or even Ernie for that matter as evidenced by a joke on the TV show "The Big Bang Theory.")

Lovely English Lass did kind of have an obsession like this, but it was with the band Take That and specifically with Robbie Williams.  (I have it on good authority that she went to see the same concert three nights in a row.)  I've also been told that this is actually quite normal for little girls.  In fact, I remember seeing a ton of unicorns and horses from girls when I was younger, and numerous girls going crazy over New Kids on the Block.

So I guess this phase will continue, and maybe it'll change to something else.  Lord knows I'm not looking forward to seeing her get obsessed with boys, or rock bands, or Flying Spaghetti Monster forbid, Justin Bieber.  I suppose I can deal until then with Hello Kitty clothes and watching her DVD of "Cinder-Kitty" for a while longer.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Dandy

My wife used to say that she didn't realize she was marrying a Dandy until it was too late.  You see, I decided, later in my life than most, that I needed to look a bit better than I had been.  When I lived in Suriname, I went to work in polos, khakis and boots.  I was working in General Services, which included Warehousing and Maintenance, and I figured that it was best to dress that way to keep my good clothes good.

My Ambassador at the time, a Management Officer himself, gave me some real good advice when I left.  "You need to dress for the job you want.  If you dress like a GSO, people will treat you that way."  In other words, I was dressing like I wasn't in fact a diplomat, so no one treated me that way.  (It didn't help that I shaved my head, or bleached my hair which turned orange, grew a very large goatee and in fact just stopped caring about how I looked.)  He was 100% correct.  But it wasn't until I went to London that it really started to hit home for me.

Men in London dress NICE!  They wore suits with incredibly large white stripes and pocket squares, with incredibly nice shirts and knots on their ties that are enormous.  But it works for them.  After being there a year, my friend Gee decided I need some new shirts because the ones I was wearing to work were starting to get ratty, and I looked horrible in them.

She took me to Jermyn Street.  Now, everyone knows Saville Row is where people buy suits. Not just suits, but some of the nicest suits you can buy.  Jermyn Street is like that for shirts.  Thomas Pink's flagship store is there, as is numerous other places for shirts.  We walked from shop to shop looking for the perfect place.  Finally, we ended up at Charles Tyrwhitt.  I bought three shirts from them, and have been a faithful customer since.  (They do a fantastic mail order service too.)

Since that time, I've become more and more a dandy.  Lovely English Lass bought me a shaving set with a badger hair brush to shave with, and I started buying hats and cuff links as well.  Sartorially, I think I cut a smashing figure for an overweight guy.

Recently, I went one step further in my dandy-hood.  This was, strangely, brought about by cost.  In South Africa, it is incredibly expensive to buy razors for my Gillette razor.  An 8 pack costs upwards of $80.00.  Not sure I like paying $10 a razor that doesn't last that long.  I started doing some research, and something kept coming up in all the comments about shaving.  Safety Razors are cheaper to own that a disposable razor set.  Razor blades are only about 10 cents a piece, and while it is difficult to understand how to use one, once you get the hang of it, the shave is pretty darn close.  After looking on the internet for a bit, I found that there is one made from a company called Parker.  Well, I'm going to buy that, right?

The metal razor handle was less than thirty dollars, and so far it has lived up to its reputation.  Nice clean shave, and with the help of an anti-septic stick, not bad on the cuts.  Highly recommend it for you men out there, as it'll save money in the long run, and the actually shaver will last quite a while.  (Look on eBay, as there are some from the 1930s in good working condition being sold.)

I suppose an entire blog on my being a dandy is a bit much, but it's something going on here right now.  I'll talk more later about my kids, and Lovely Little Girl going to a new school next month, and how Crazy Little Man got to meet Phineas and Ferb.  But for now I'm going to go and have some coffee and get to work.  I may not be much of a Diplomat, but I certainly look like one now.