In praise of hipsters

I know, they annoy me most times too, but recently I've decided that there is a good thing to having hipsters around being ironic.  Because of their ironic detachment, they've allowed me at least some good things.  Here are a few for you.

1) Their ironic wearing of logo t-shirts.  Because of hipsters, I can go outside now wearing my Batman t-shirts and not feel out of place at all.  I love that.  I can walk around wearing my Captain America shield t-shirt and people just think I'm being ironic.
2) They've made being a nerd ok.  You can be a nerd, interested in things that normally would make you an outsider, and turned it around.  Reading comic books is ok, as is keeping a blog.  (From "Phineas and Ferb":  "Yeah, I blog about blogs I read, and blogs I don't like and other blogs as well.")
3) They listen to music ironically that I actually like from back in the day.  Great example of this happened on Saturday.  LEL went to TopShop here to look around.  While inside, the music playing was obviously meant to be ironic, but I loved it.  "Ice Ice Baby" came on.  Now, Vanilla Ice gets a lot of stick, deservedly, for his body of work.  However, remember back to when that song actually came out.  It was the joint.  One of the radio stations played ABCs "The Look of Love" which is yet another great song.  I can also like Death Cab for Cutie and be ok with it.  And listen to Billy Joel.
4) Coffee Joints.  What can I say?  I like coffee joints. They don't have Starbucks here, but they do have some great coffee spots, which we can thank hipsters for continuing to frequent.
5) The ability to look bored.  Sometimes you just don't want to look interested because you aren't.  If you're wearing a Batman t-shirt and look bored, people just think you're a hipster and it's ok.  I like that.

Anyways, there's my praise for hipsters.  I know they can be a pain (especially the guys from Fun.) but they've made it ok for a man in his mid-thirties to not look like a total moron, and for that I thank them.

MILB: "Freak of the Week" by Marvelous 3

Once again, I'm delving into a lost song that deserved better.  (To be honest, there are two songs I've been searching for, one since the early 90s is a song called "Believe" by DiG.  Found it on YouTube, but not on iTunes.  The other was a heavy rock cover of "You're the One that I Want" from Grease.  The video had two guys in a pickup doing donuts.  It was awesome!  But, impossible to find.  If anyone knows where I can find them to purchase, please put it in the comments.)

I digress, this song is from a group called Marvelous 3 from Atlanta, Georgia.  They release three albums, and basically split up in 2001 after a farewell show in Olympic Park.  However, in the fall of 1998 they released an album called Hey! Album which included the lead single "Freak of the Week."

"Freak of the Week" sounded a bit like a Cars song, and had a bit of simplicity to it.  Moving bass line, horn licks on the guitar during the verse, loud sing-a-long chorus.  It's a song that was basic enough to enjoy, but also good enough that you didn't feel like an idiot liking it.  (A good example of that is "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne.  Simple song, but good enough that you won't get mocked too much for liking it.)

The girl I dated at around that time thought the song sounded like a shoe commercial, and she wasn't too far off on it.  It's a song about being an outsider or being famous in a rock band.  The first verse is: 

"I spend a lot on all the clothes that I've got/ because all the geeks that I meet/ they all look cooler than me./ But what to do when they're all looking at you/ because you're the freak of the week/ cause you're on the TV."

Pretty decent opening.  The second verse talks about his shrink who thinks he's Elvis and wears suede shoes to work.  That's pretty descriptive there.  The break is fantastic, and definitely sounds like the Cars.  repetitive guitar lick, while a falsetto over the top says:

"Tell me I've sold out/ Tell me I've sold out, go ahead./ Tell me I've sold out./  Tell me I've sold out, go ahead."

Interesting, because that's the worst thing you can call a band.  A sell-out.  Maybe this was written because prior to being in Marvelous 3, the band members were part of a glam outfit.  Perhaps in the writing of the song, the singer thought he'd sold out to make commercially viable music, hence "Freak of the Week" and the sold out lines.

Even though they broke up in 2001, the band members still seem to be on good speaking terms.  The lead singer is a guy named Butch Walker, who had a decent solo career and has been a writer and producer of some renowned for other artists.  When he tours as a solo act, he occasionally has the other members from Marvelous 3 come on stage to do some of their songs.  I think that's pretty darn cool.

Anyways, it's a good song, I like it, and listen to it when I feel a bit down.  It peps me up and makes me think that I'll be ok.  Give it a listen, see if you like it, and let me know if there are other songs out there that I haven't talked about that I should give a listen.

MILB: "Hell" by the Squirrel Nut Zippers

There are times when you hear a song that is obviously tongue in cheek, but realize it would fit in very well in an old fashioned Fire and Brimstone Baptist tent revival in Alabama.  You can almost feel the heat and humidity coming off this song.  I like it a lot.

The first time I heard about The Squirrel Nut Zippers I was in College.  They were lumped into the nascent "Swing" revival happening in the mid-to-late 1990s, but this group was more than Big Band Swing.  They had a bit of everything.  Harlem Hot Music, Klezmer, Delta Blues, Swing of course, and a bit of calypso.  It was an amazing blend, and one that should have gotten more traction.  If I'm honest, they didn't do too badly.  They played President Clinton's inaugural, had a stint on the Tonight Show and a platinum album, so that's not too bad.  Still, they should be played more often then during Halloween in the States.  Plus, the name of the band comes from a headline about a guy that got drunk on moonshine, climbed a tree and wouldn't come down.  (The type of moonshine is apparently called Nut Zipper.)

Now, onto the song.  "Hell" is supposed to sound like a street corner preacher trying to reach out to the lost souls about what happens when people die.  The dramatic telling of how things will be in hell definitely takes me back to Revival! time in the South.  You'll hear them talk about how horrible hell is, and how everyone that goes there is tormented forever and ever.  Also you won't be able to hide anything in eternity, because everyone will know.  The lyrics are very demonstrative:

"This is a place where eternally/fire is applied to the body/ teeth are extruded and bones are ground/ and baked into cakes which are passed around."

or:

"Beauty, talent, fame, money, refinement, top skill and brain/ but all the things you try to hide/ will be revealed on the other side."

You can almost picture a man with a magnificently coiffed head of hair, a sharp suit, and an organ playing in the background, saying these things, right?

Moving on from the message, the use of live musicians, and a throwback sound to the early 20th century, gave this song a real "new" feel.  That sounds strange, but it was comfortable but different.  I personally liked it.  But then again I liked bands like Cherry Poppin' Daddies and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, so take that what you will.

Go listen to the song if you haven't heard it.  If you have, listen to it again.  The musicianship is great, the singing definitely sounds like something from the 20s or 30s, and it even has the call and response which gives it a Cab Calloway sense.  Love it.  (And listen for the very ending where you hear someone say, "I broke the chandelier."  Random, but funny.)

Give it a try everyone.  You might surprise yourself and find your toe tapping.

"Hey Baby! You looking for a Management Officer?"

Ok, so it's not that bad when it comes to bidding in the Foreign Service, but it seems that way.  Every two to three years I have to sit down, write my letter explaining that I'm interested in a certain job, and that I'd very much like to introduce myself and give my cv.  There are many rules when it comes to bidding, and it's a delicate dance between being the right person for the right job and being an overwhelming jerk who constantly pesters people and have now talked themselves out of a job.

It's so much easier as an Entry-level officer.  They give you a list of what's available.  You rank order them, and they assign you to a post.  How simple is that?  I miss those days.  Now a days I feel like Rod Roddy when he was on The Price Is Right giving the details about the item up for bid.  "This 37-year old Management Coned Officer survived three years as the Management Officer in Luxembourg before doing a tour as Post Management officer for Afghanistan, where he bought airplanes and helicopters, and was responsible for procuring armored vehicles for those brave souls serving in a war zone.  He loves spending time with his family, movies, and hopes to one day become Batman."

(Well, not that last sentence.  Usually they don't ask about your interests outside of work.)

Here's what you'll need to know if you are a Foreign Service Officer and bidding on your first non-directed job:

1) Do your research: Know basic information about the post.  If you're a Management Officer, research the issues prior to writing.  If you're a Political or Econ officer, ensure you have a basic idea of the political and economic climate of the country.  (It also helps if you know the President or Prime Minister.  Just sayin'...)
2) Don't be long winded:  This one is hard.  The welcome email should only be the screen size.  They shouldn't have to scroll down to get to the end.  Make it short, concise, and to the point.  They're very busy, they get tons of these, and they want to know the facts and get it over with.  If it's too long, you've just disqualified yourself from the job.
3) Ask them questions about the job:  If you really are interested in the job, ask questions about it.  Don't start off asking questions about nightlife, or fun things to do in the country.  That's not their job.  You should have contacted the CLO about that prior to emailing the POC.  If you have kids, do the research on that first before talking to the POC.  This will stop you from wasting someones time when you can't bid there anyways.
4) Don't ask about housing:  I know it's important, and I know the family will want to know more about housing, but stop yourself.  I beg of you, just stop.  If the first thing you ask about is housing, it kind of singles you out as a possible problem child.  It's important, but just hold out for a bit.  There will be time later to ask that.
5) Ask the incumbent if you can chat: Not a bad way to get yourself known, they can always say no, and you don't force yourself on someone by cold-calling them.  It's an easy thing to do.
6) If you do get a phone call, follow up with an email: This is an easy thing to do.  Thank them for taking the time to talk to you, and tell them you look forward to hearing from them again if they have any other questions for you.  It puts you in their mind that you're a good person.  Plus, it's polite.
7) Don't bother someone more than once every 10-14 days:  POCs have jobs themselves that they need to do.  If you pester them, you'll fall off their charts faster than that crooked detective fell from the roof in Batman Begins.  (Did you see that part?  It was awesome.)
8) ABC:  To quote Glenngary Glen Ross "Always Be Closing".  Make sure that when a certain job is brought up, your name is associated with it.  Make it your job.
9) Sell yourself, but don't oversell yourself:  There is a difference between selling yourself, and overselling yourself.  It is a fine line.  Talking about what you've done is great.  Talking about how you saved the day all by yourself and not giving your team the credit is overselling.  If something can be verified, then yes.  If you take too much credit, you'll get a horrible corridor rep and you won't get that job.

and finally...
10) Have the backup ready just in case:  I can't tell you how many times I thought I was going somewhere, and the job just dropped.  The last time I bid, I was in the top 3 twice, and lost out on both jobs.  When I was in DC in 2005, I lost my entire bid list. Twice.  It wasn't a great feeling, let me tell you.  Both times I got a job offer before getting the job I ended up with.  I had a backup, just in case.

If you're in the FS, this might help.  If not, welcome to my madness for the next few months.  I probably won't even know where I'm going until December, so I'm going to be crazy busy doing interviews for my next assignment, but also answering questions about this job from people bidding.  This is the life I chose to lead, so I can't complain.  Still it goes against my Calvinist upbringing.  I guess I'll just go feel guilty for a while after the interviews.

Take the Yes.

One of the major problems I have being a Management Officer is when people can't take the yes.  What does that mean?  I'll explain.

Someone comes into your office to ask for something.  They start it off explaining what it is they need, and then go into a long explanation of why it is the want it.  However, you've already decided that it's ok, and say yes before they get to the explanation.  Even after hearing that it's ok, they continue on with the reasoning behind why they need it.  Even after you tell them that it's ok, you've already said yes, they continue on with their explanation.

For goodness sake, just take the yes.  The good thing about being a human is the ability to stop our speech whenever we want to do so.  We're not clockwork men.  We don't have to continue on until our key stops.  When someone says yes, just stop there, thank them, and go on with your day.  It's not a hard thing to do!

Another pet peeve of mine is overly long meetings.  I hate meetings, as they can be a large time suck.  Everyone probably has something better to do, and no one likes being in a meeting.  However, they are important to the smooth running of an organization, so I accept them for the necessary evil that they are.  I do, though, place a time limit on the meetings that I hold.  One hour.  That's the longest I will sit for one of my meetings.  When I first arrive at a post, I call together everyone I supervise for a meeting and lay down the ground rules.  If after 1 hour the meeting is still going, I will get up and leave.  (This rule can be broken if there is an emergency, like a natural disaster, a large visit, or something like that.)  It doesn't matter if someone is in the midst of talking, I will leave.  This keeps the meetings short and to the point.

I had to institute this rule during my first time as a Management Officer.  I had an employee that would always go into long drawn out stories before getting to his point.  I finally instituted the rule, and actually walked out during one of his stories.  This made him very angry, but I explained that we didn't need the full background, just the point he was trying to make.  If I wanted background, I told him, I would ask him for it.  While on occasion he needed to be reminded to move forward, it worked perfectly, and meetings became much more productive.

The point of this post is: Get to the point immediately, and then take the yes.  It'll make everyone happier in the long run.

MILB: Recent Songs I Loathe

I know I usually write about songs I like, and can actually talk about them for a bit and sound somewhat coherent.  However, lately there have been a bevy of songs that came out that I loathe, so I thought I'd put those out there as well.

First on my list is "Let Her Go" by Passenger.  This song is HUGE in South Africa right now, but it appears even the SAFRs have gotten sick of it too.  From the endless tautologies presented, to the stupid catchiness of the music which continues playing in your head even after you turn it off, the song just continues like the worst ear-worm.  Perhaps the most annoying part is something that the local radio station has picked up on.  The very end has the longest pause in a record ever.  They've started putting in adverts and jokes during the middle of the break.  It's just a waste of a song, and it makes me glad that she left him.

Next on my list is anything in the last 10 months from Train.  Now, I have to admit I really liked "Drops of Jupiter" back in the day, but some of their new songs are just, gah!  "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" is obviously a rip from Paul Simon's brilliant "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover", but is a bit creepy.  The song is basically a guy talking to the woman breaking up with him and telling her that when his friends ask he's going to just say she's dead.  HOW MESSED UP IS THAT?!?  I've been broken up with A LOT, and I never ever thought about telling people that my ex was dead.  Then comes their new song here, "Mermaid".  You name dropping Johnny Depp and the Puget Sound in the same song just drops it to a new level of low.

Of course the one that really offends me lately is Avril Lavigne's "Here's to never growing up."  You can tell that her marriage to schlock-meister Chad Kroeger has influenced her new sound.  It's catchy without meaning anything at all, just like a song from Nickelback.  The chorus starts with, "Singing Radiohead at the top of our lungs, with a boom box blaring as we're falling in love."  Really?  What Radiohead song are you singing at the top of your lungs while falling in love?  "Street Spirit (Fade Out)"?  "Creep"?  "Paranoid Android"?  "Karma Police"? Or perhaps something from Kid A or Amnesiac?  I mean, Radiohead are known for numerous things, but anthemic sing alongs aren't one of them.  Somewhere right now, Thom Yorke is writing a sad song about how Avril Lavigne is using him to sell records.  And you know what?  It'll STILL be better than this song.  It's a mindless singalong song that doesn't mean anything, and probably doesn't do anything but piss off Deryck Webley, the lead singer of Sum 41 and her ex-husband.  Avril once sang "Fuel" for the Metallica tribute show, and used to consider herself kind of a punk.  Not anymore.  She's fully in the Taylor Swift era now.  (As evidenced by the fact that I originally thought this song was by Swift.)

Well, there you have it.  The first ever, "MILB: Songs I Loathe" blog.  There will be more in the future I'm sure.  Hope you liked it.  If you think I'm wrong and that these songs are great, leave it in the comments.

"Only Hotels"

During this visit I was assigned to be in charge of Hotels.  It's very important, and one that needs a good group of people to ensure that the myriad of changes (and there will always be changes) gets made.  You also have to be able to go with the flow and make sure that when someone whose name you've never seen rocks up that you can plug them into a room.

I'm very lucky in that I have a local staff member, whom I'll refer to as D, who is very good at this.  He's definitely unflappable, and gets things done.  So we've got the unenviable task of making sure the traveling party is taken care of, and that the hotels are happy with us when we leave so that if we need them again (and we might, very soon) then they'll help us out on short notice.

The only issue is that the trip had a lot of moving parts, and most of them were here in Johannesburg.  (The Embassy is in Pretoria, and that's where the majority of the people work, but everyone comes to Johannesburg.  It'd be like if New York City was 45 miles from Washington, DC.  No one would come to DC, and no one comes to Pretoria.  Digression over.)  Anyways, there was a lot going on here in Jozi, and I knew a decent amount of what was going on.  It is my city.  So during one of the meetings, when the person in charge of something wasn't there, I threw out the answer because I knew it.

Afterwards, I was reminded that I was only hotels, and that I needed to stay in my lane.  Good point, as hotels are very important, and need a focus.

This phrase, "only hotels" has become something of an in-joke here since then.  I accidentally answered that I was "only hotels" during a countdown meeting, which isn't something you want to do if you want to have a long career in the foreign service.  (Luckily people thought it was funny.)  Sadly I missed the meet and greet, but Lovely English Lass apparently did a fantastic job on it, and everyone was very happy.  Also, the VVIP left with family in tow, no one got hurt, and no one got arrested, so a successful visit!