Halloween

You know, sometimes Halloween isn't just for kids.  I mean, I always loved going out dressed up.  (I went as Jimmy Carter in 1980.  Overalls, mask with big toothy smile and a bag of peanuts.)  However, once you get older, it gets much more difficult to go out.  You start being too cool to dress up, and then it gets creepy if you do.

However, once you have a kid you can go out and get dressed up again, because it's about the kids.  (Although I hate when the parents come along and trick or treat too.  Had it happen two years ago and really peeved me.  Especially because the parents weren't handing out candy at their house!)  So this year, while Lovely Little Girl went as Hello Kitty! (Natch) and Crazy Little Man got dressed up as Captain America, Lovely English Lass and I decided to go for costumes as well.  She bought a Morticia Adams dress and put on a hat with spider webs and looked great.  Sadly, this wasn't her first choice, but they don't make Jane Eyre costumes, now do they?  I on the other hand went with the Dark Knight.  I thought it would be pretty funny, and thought the costume was probably flimsy, but it'd do alright for one night, right?

Well, my costume came in the mail, and it rocked!  I put it on and immediately went to see LEL.  She wasn't expecting it and jolted her a little.  LLG just wanted to touch the fake muscles, but it was a success.

The Consulate had a party on Saturday, and LEL was in charge of putting the whole thing together.  I walked up with the kids, looking like this:

Yeah, I rock.

On a more personal note, my thoughts and prayers are for those on the East Coast (and further inward as well) of the US.  Many of my friends live in the areas affected, and I hope you and your families are well and that your homes are ok.  It's times like this we all need to remember that we're in this world together.  Help each other when we can, and be good to each other.  Politics and other issues may divide us, but something like this doesn't discriminate between liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican.  Right now, we're all just humans.

MILB: Placebo

I remember when I first saw the movie, "Cruel Intentions."  Great opening scene with Ryan Phillipe driving along to this great song I'd never heard before.  When I got the DVD, it had the video on it.  It was a song called "Every You, Every Me" by a band called Placebo.  I'd never heard of them, but the video had parts of the movie inter cut with them singing the song at a concert.  The place was packed, and it looked as if they were famous.  How had I missed these guys?

Well, Placebo had never really made an impact in the US.  They're two Belgian guys who actually went to school together at the American school in Luxembourg, but met again in London and formed a band.  The said the name Placebo came from when bands were naming themselves after drugs (like The Crystal Method) and thought it would be funny to name themselves Placebo.  It took hold.

I gotta say, I really like Placebo.  Androgynous and with a definite unique sound that made you know that it was Placebo when you heard the song.  I've actually seen them twice in concert.  The first time they were one of the acts on the second day of the Reading Festival in 2003.  Fantastic set, and my friend, Chuck, even became a fan of them.  "Special K" was a great song, as was "Nancy Boy".  I bought their then new album, "Sleeping With Ghosts" which had the song, "Special Needs" on it, which is really good.  Somehow they got lumped into the BritPop group, but they were never really part of it.  They had a different sound, a bit darker.  With lots of references to their drug use, they reminded me of a more goth, peppy version of Alice In Chains.  "Without You I'm Nothing" is a great duet with David Bowie, and "Protege Moi" is a dark kind of song.  "English Summer Rain" is actually a little tongue in cheek, as in the line, "English Summer Rain seems to last for ages."

The European version of "Sleeping with Ghosts" has an extra DVD with B-sides.  One of them is a cover of Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill".  Dark and eerie, it adds a whole new level to the song that wasn't there in Kate's version.  The official video was made using clips of their fans singing the song, which makes it even more haunting.  Highly recommend you find it on YouTube.

Anyways, Placebo never really took off too much in the states.  Don't know why, but maybe it was the look, or their songs just didn't fit in with much going on the radio at the time.  If you haven't heard them, check them out.  Try their first three albums.  You might like it.

Sometimes Painful, but worth it

I was lucky to have one of the greatest teachers for being a Management officer.  My dad is a City Manager, and is generally regarded as being one of the best pretty much in the US.  (He'll deny this, of course.)  He's gone to numerous countries discussing with them how local government works, and won numerous awards.  Plus, he's been at the same job for 28 years.  That's a LONG time for a City Manager.  So, when I say I learned from the best, that's not hyperbole.

Some of the things dad taught me are still with me.  Always be open when discussing the business of your business.  Always be available.  (My parents have always had a listed number in the phone book, because Dad said the people should be able to reach him.  Which is all and good until you get a death threat, but I digress.)  I've taken that to heart, as all of my Management meetings in the Consulate are not only open to every member of staff, but also their family members as well.  (Since it affects their lives as well, they should know what we're doing too.)  Apparently this isn't done that much in the Foreign Service.  In fact, I'm apparently the only person that does this.  Well, so be it.  Like I've said before, Management Officers in the Foreign Service are masochists.

However, since Dad didn't have to move people around with all their posessions, not everthing could be taught.  Here's a secret: When people move countries, even to places like Great Britain, they get culture shock.  Usually it happens around a month to 3 months in country.  And when it hits, the first person they take it out on is the Management section at the Embassy or Consulate.  Everything is our fault.  Your kid fall off the trampoline at your house?  Management should have done something about it.  You can't get a part to fix a leaky skylight until Monday?  Not good enough!  Your HHE shipment is delayed due to labor unrest and truckers won't drive because they are being firebombed?  Yeah, that's my fault too.

So why do it?  Why take the abuse you know will come your way?  Why not chuck it and do something else?  Well, that's something else that my dad taught me.  Public service is an honor and privilege.  I serve my country and my fellow countrymen, and it's something I'm immensely proud of doing.

It's Like watching Lovely Little Girl

My wife, who is very active on Facebook with other Autism parents, saw this on one of her friend's facebook pages.  It quickly made the rounds to the other Autism parents.

If you ever want to know how it has been sometimes with Lovely Little Girl, watch the video prior to the performance.  I've seen her do all of those things.  But, also watch what she does after the performance.  The sideways hug, the raising her hands up and down showing she was excited, the look on her face... That was my Lovely Little Girl right there.  Not afraid to say it was very dusty in the room when we watched this video.  I mean it.  Even Lovely English Lass, who definitely has mastered the British Stiff Upper Lip, was teary-eyed.

This is why we fight, and why I will never give up on my little girl.  She might not play piano like this little girl, who is lovely in her own right, but she has talent as well.  Her drawings are getting so much better, and I can definitely see she has something to say when she draws.  One day maybe we'll be going to an art opening for her.  Or watching her decide to do something else.  Still, this video demonstrates why kids on the Spectrum need our support, so they can become active members of society.  Oh, and thank you Jon Stewart and Katy Perry and everyone else that participated in Night of Too Many Stars.  This Aspie Daddy is thankful for your support.

(steps down off soapbox.)

Just Stop

To Politicians on both sides of the aisle and the press: Just stop.  Stop using dead Diplomats to make political points.  Just stop.

Stop saying that more should have been done to protect the Consulate in Benghazi when Congress cut the security portion of our budget by a lot.  Just stop.

Stop saying that the US Marine Security Guards should have been at Benghazi.  First of all, learn what the MSG program is actually all about before spouting that nonsense.  The majority of our Consulates, and some Embassies, do not have Marine Security Guards.  We don't in Johannesburg.  MSGs are only in place where top secret classified processing is done.  Their primary job is to protect the Classified info and equipment.  (The joke in A-100, our "How to be a Diplomat" class, was that if you wanted to rescued by the Marines, strap yourself to a classified computer.)  They will defend in the event of an emergency, but even large Embassies only have 6-8 Marines for internal defense.  We depend on our contract guards and the local police to help us in emergencies.  So until you actually know something about this, just stop.

Stop with going through a dead man's diary looking for a news scoop.  If you're reading this, you probably know me.  Please imagine I had been one of those people in Benghazi.  Think of how much hurt it would cause Lovely English Lass, Crazy Little Man and Lovely Little Girl, not to mention my parents and family.  Would you be able to look them in the eyes after something private was scoured through for a breaking news story?  I'd hope not.  Remember, these men died serving their country, and they are heroes.  (BTW, everything I'm saying here for Diplomats goes the same for our men and women in uniform.)  Just stop it.

Stop acting like this is the first time someone in the Foreign Service has ever died on duty.  Go to the actual State Department in Foggy Bottom, and go to the lobby.  On two walls facing each other there are names of Foreign Service officers that have died in the line of duty.  I can tell you in took almost two hundred years to fill up the first wall, and less than 40 to fill up the second.  We've been stereotyped to be these effete snobs drinking wine and eating canapes in European capitals while wearing our pin-stripped suits.  Maybe before World War II, but certainly not any more.  Go read those names.  Read the names from Dar es Salam and Nairobi, when Al Qaeda blew up two of our Embassies in East Africa.  That was 1998.  Now ask yourself why more people don't know about that.  Ask why you don't know the names of some of the others on that wall.  Say a prayer thanking them for their service to our country.  And then just stop.

Finally, and again repeating myself, just stop using dead diplomats for political purposes.  It's bad enough that the Department of State lost bright and talented officers that would have continued to make a difference in the world, but the families of these officers have lost their loved ones.  While they deserve answers to their questions about what happened to their loved ones, they don't deserve to be used as political pawns.

Just stop.

Promotion

In the Foreign Service, to get promoted you have to do several things.  One of them is wait.  You see, prior to getting promoted, you have to spend time in your grade.  Therefore, even if you walk on water, solve the Korean Conflict and write a treaty to stop the weaponization and non-proliferation of the Kardashians, you still have to wait three years before your next try at promotion.  You are also competing twice for promotion.  Once against the people in your cone (Management for me) and if you don't get that, you compete against everyone else in your grade.

Even if you're recommended for promotion, you still might not get it.  Since there are only so many spots available for promotion, you might miss the cut-off.  So, you might end up on the Meritorious Step-Increase list. Also known as the Bridesmaid list,  you get the recognition that you might have been promoted, but didn't do quite enough to do it.  So they give you a raise to make up for the loss.  You also get to bid on jobs one grade higher.  It's a nice sentiment, and the extra money never hurts, but you kind of want to get promoted instead.

The hard part is the wait.  After you hand in your evaluation,  It goes to a committee.  The panel then looks at least the last three years of your evaluations and judge you on that.  Then you have to wait some more.  If you're in the midst of bidding on a new position, and you are up for promotion, this can cause numerous problems.  Do you try and get a job at the lower level, or do you assume you're going to be promoted and bid on higher jobs?  It's all very stressful.  Plus the lists for promotion, which are supposed to come out in August or September, always come later than expected and you are sitting there waiting.  It is very stressful.

Well, I finally got promoted to FS-01.  That's the highest I can get unless I make it into the Senior Foreign Service.  It's the equivalent, in the Military, of being a Full-Bird Colonel.  (In fact, we have assimilated rank if we ever have to serve with troops.  Here's a tip: never use it unless it is really necessary.  The military REALLY hates it when someone that looks like I do starts ordering people around and then says, "Well I have assimilated rank of Colonel, so I outrank you."  Quick way to being left on a dusty road by yourself somewhere.  Plus, I think it's just stupid to do that.  My opinion, but YMMV.)

When the list comes out, especially in DC, people gather around and start looking for names that they know.  There's always a lot of, "Oh, good for him.  He was almost out of tries," or, "Great job!  S/He's going to be an awesome Ambassador one day" and a few, "Really!?!?  They got promoted?"  Since we are such a small organization, pretty much everyone knows everybody else.  You've either met them, or known someone that worked with them.

I wish I could tell you, dear reader, what it is exactly that you have to do to get promoted.  But I can't.  I was promoted on my first try to FS-03 and FS-02.  But it took me three tries to get to FS-01.  And actually that's quite quick according to the statistics from last year, as the average is 5 tries. Frankly I thought I would have gotten promoted with the work I did in Washington on Afghanistan issues, but apparently it wasn't enough.  In fact, I'm sure that somewhere in the world someone saw my name on the promotion list and said, "Really?!?!  What were they thinking?"  That's ok, as I'm sure I've said it about a few people myself.

In the end, the best part is that I've worked very hard in my career, and it's nice to be recognized.  I've gotten a lot of well wishes over the past few weeks, and it's been nice hearing from people I haven't heard from in a while.  Even people that worked under me have emailed, which is a good feeling.  So I'm pretty happy with that.  It's not always been easy, this weird life I've chosen for myself and my family, but it's been good.

And yes, I did want to email the promotion list to that former DCM that kept saying, "John Jay Parker, are you still in the Foreign Service?" just to see the completely fake congratulations she sent back to me.  But I didn't.  I am, after all, a Diplomat.

My Inner Lester Bangs meets My Inner Gene Siskel: "Searching for Sugar Man" and "Cold Fact"

This came from the weekly newsletter here at our Consulate.  I thought, since I wrote it, that I'd re-produce it for you, my readers.  (Basically my family that feel pity that I write and read so I don't feel bad.)

On our recent plane flight, I found myself trying to find a movie to watch, and was captivated by the title of this film.  It looked interesting enough, and so I decided to hit play and see what it was all about.

“Searching for Sugar Man”, now playing at select Ster-kinekor theaters, is the story of a search for an enigma.  The movie tells the story of Rodriguez, a 1970s musician from Detroit that recorded two albums that were well received by critics but didn’t sell much in the US.  Dropped from his label, he disappears.  Usually that’s the end of it.

However, Rodriguez first album, “Cold Fact”, somehow ended up in South Africa, and the album became very popular, selling an estimated 500,000 albums.  One of his fans decides to find out what happened to him, and thus one of the most fantastical stories ever told begins.

Documentaries can be a tricky thing, as you put under the microscope real life people and expect their stories to entertain you like fictional stories do.  That’s why numerous movies nowadays say, “Inspired by true events.”  They seem like reality, but they’re fudged to make them more entertaining for viewers.  Good documentaries, like “When We Were Kings” or “Dogtown and Z Boys”, actually make reality better than fiction.  “Searching for Sugar Man” is one of those documentaries.  The story of how much music meant to people, in a country very far from where it was originally recorded, shows that humans are more alike that we are different.  As Roger Ebert said in his review of the movie, “I hope you're able to see this film. You deserve to. And yes, it exists because we need for it to.”  

Now, onto the album, "Cold Fact."  The album is quite good for when it was released.  I still don't know how Donovan made it big and Rodriguez didn't.  He SOUNDS a little like Donovan in his "Season of the Witch" time or a little like Harry Nilsson.  Good stuff.  The first song, "Sugar Man" is great in a slightly psychedlic way.  Backed up by what sounds like an orchestra, he hits the song well.  "This is not a song, it's an outburst" has some great imagery in it.  "I woke up this morning with a lake in my head, I splashed on my clothes and I spilled out of bed."  Just fantastic.  "I wonder" is an interesting song, as it asks, "I wonder, how many times you've had sex? and I wonder, do you know who'll be next?"  Brazen for 1970, and even a bit for today.  The rest of the album is just as good, and worth a listen.

If you have a chance, buy the album.  Not often you can hear something that's slipped through the cracks for so long that still sounds good today.

England By Roadtrip, Pt. 2

So, when I last left you, dear reader, we were finishing up our visit to the Angel of the North.  Very impressive, and quite cool.  (Sheffield apparently is planning a statue called "The Man of Steel" which I assume, for copyright reasons, is not going to be a huge statue of Superman.)  Anyways, I finished sulking for not going to Edinburgh, and we headed to Durham.

Our friend, Gee, went to University in Durham, and had always regaled me with discussions of how beautiful it is.  I always listened, but never seriously thought of going.  Well, we went.  Let me tell you now... Durham is amazing!  Beautiful old cathedral, well preserved city, and the feel of a very cool place to live.  (It also has a taco place, so bonus!)  Anyways, we went there, and Lovely English Lass took photos of everything.  The kids behaved reasonable well, and it was lovely out.  We walked, looked into places, I bought two shirts and a cap from a Scottish place that was having a sale.  (So my Scot fix was done.)  There is a beautiful pedestrian bridge over a river that you cross to get to the Cathedral, and the views were just lovely.

One problem.  I was away from LEL and the kids on the opposite side of this bridge, when i saw a man with dreadlocks and a conga drum walk from my side of the bridge to LEL's and spit on her!  I ran over and said, "He spit on you!"  She seemed non-plussed about it, and just shrugged it off.  That took the fight out of me, and I couldn't believe she was not upset.  Turns out, she thought I was talking about Crazy Little Man, and not the weirdo who had spit on her.  LEL has a mixed history of homeless people doing bad things to her.  Once in London, a homeless guy punched her in the shoulder. Strange...

Anyways, after that we went to a nice Organic Farmhouse, had some lunch and went back to Blackpool.  While spending a few more days in Blackpool, we ventured out to Manchester to the Trafford Centre (where close by at Old Trafford 3 weeks later my Spurs would beat Man United 3-2 for the first time since 1989.  Yeah, I'm going to mention that a few times.)  We also went to Lancaster just north of Blackpool.  Amazing town, and a great place to walk around and enjoy oneself.  We went to a pub called The Friary, which as the name suggests, was once a very large church.  Nice place, but felt a little wrong having a beer there, so I had a coke.  But Lancaster was very nice, and a lovely place to visit.

We then travelled all the way down to Devonshire, which took way too long because of traffic in and around Birmingham.  We left at 11 am, and finally arrived at 9 pm.  The trip should have taken 5 hours.  But we saw beautiful sites and cities like Biddeford.  The next day we went to Bude, and walked around, taking in the seaside and loving being out in the fresh air.  LEL didn't end up getting her Cream Tea, but we did have a nice time walking around.  The only problem is that area of England closes at 4 pm on a Saturday.  WHAT!?!

After a brief detour to Biddeford on Sunday, where the entire city was closed, we moved on to Bath.  Like I said with Durham, we can DEFINITELY live in Bath.  Strangely, our hotel was located in the middle of the city, but only cost us 15 quid.  Not too bad, really.  We ate at a pub called the Pig and Fiddle, where I had an Alpaca burger, and the had Anchor Steam and Brooklyn Beer in bottles.  Not only that, but they played jazz music over their speakers that had a sousaphone.  Seemed like home to me!  But Bath also had the Jane Austen Days occuring as well.  Numerous people walking around dressed like the 1800s, and men with sideburns all the way down their face wearing riding boots and top hats.  Very cool place, and we loved visiting.

We then moved down to visit LEL's aunty and uncle, who like in Gweek, Cornwall.  They took us around to The Lizard, the furthest southern point in England, and then to Cream Tea.  I found that the Cornish way to have Cream tea is to put the jam on first and then the clotted cream, because the heat from the scones melts the cream and that's no good.  The Devon way is to put the cream first and then the jam.  (A Public Service announcement from "Know Your English Regions.")  It was lovely, and also quite harrowing.  The roads between Cornish villages were not made for automobiles, and definitely not two coming in opposite directions.  High hedges on the side and trees coming over the road are beautiful, but not conducive to driving when a Range Rover shows up in front of you wanting to pass.  Very tight squeeze.  Plus, at night, it looks like the Headless Horseman is going to come after you.

I wanted to go to Land's End, just to say I'd been there.  (Also a reason to go to John O'Groats.)  LLG got sick on the way, so we made a quick stop in Penzance.  (Yes, Pirates of Penzance did come to mind, and I did sing "Modern Major-General" to myself when I got there.)  Still, it was a lovely town, and we got to have a very nice Cornish Pasty while there.  We then went to Land's End, had photos taken at the famous sign, and returned to Gweek.  We left the next day for London and the end of our trip.

But before London, we had to visit Stonehenge.  LEL had never been, and I felt it was an absolute scandal that she hadn't.  So off to Stonehenge.  Nice place, but gets a bit boring after a bit.  And with two hyper-active children, it's even worse.  So off we went to the London Borough of Hounslow, and a lovely Travelodge right at the end of the runway to Heathrow Airport.  (Hounslow is, if you remember, the setting for "Bend it Like Beckham.")  The Friday we travelled into the city, saw Big Ben and Parliament, walked to Trafalgar Square, found out that my Mexican restaurant near Trafalgar (the Texas Embassy) was no longer there, and walked all over Westminster until the kids had enough.  After a nice rest, the next day we spent it on Richmond Green with friends from all over London.  Quite a good time.  The kids then had McDonalds, or Old McDonalds as they call it, where Crazy Little Man kept staring at the transient family that was seated behind us that kept yelling and screaming at each other.  (A good way to get me in a fight.)  LEL and I had a very nice curry, and we went to sleep ready to leave.

The next day was rainy, which it hardly did while we were in Blighty.  The food at the hotel was awful, and we waited 8 hours in the airport for the plane to leave, but all in all it wasn't a bad day.  The kids were pretty good, and the flight home wasn't too bad.  It was nice coming out and seeing the sunshine and noticing all the familiar stuff around.  While vacation is good, it's always nice to come home and sleep in your own bed.  It was a great visit, and I do miss England many times.  (Especially when Spurs beat Man United at Old Trafford for the first time since 1989.  Did I mention that?)  But we came home with great memories, and hopefully next year when we go back we'll have just as good a time.  For now, I'm happy in SA, and I think that the family is too. At least until a Combe Bus cuts me off in traffic.