Visit to Durban, Christmas, and a Goodbye to 2012

To say the last few weeks have been crazy would be a terrible understatement.  I've seen Black Friday sales that were less hectic.

Our trip to Durban didn't turn out the way we wanted it to when we planned it.  About 30 miles from our destination (as the GPS says) a loud screeching noise made me a little worried, as did the smoke from our tailpipe, that quickly disappeared.  The A/C stopped working, and the car was making a weird noise.  Sadly, however, this was late Saturday and everything was already closed.  Nothing is open on a Sunday, and Monday was a holiday, so it looked like we were going to have an issue with fixing the car.  The hotel was nice, and not too far to the beach.  So the first couple days were OK.  We spent time at the pool and went to Gateway Shopping Mall (the largest supposedly in the Southern Hemisphere).  On Monday we met family Friends D and A, and their son who is also on the spectrum.  He's much older than Lovely Little Girl but a sweet boy that very much took to Lovely English Lass.  A called around and found that the Mazda dealer was in fact open on Monday, and took me to see if they could fix it.  Turns out they couldn't.  He then called his mechanic who recommended someone who would  come fix the car for us.  Problem was, no one had the part we needed.  Our car is a 2 liter engine, and all of the ones in country were 1.6 liters, which is a problem.  So while he looked around for the part, we rented a car and went looking for Rhino at a Nature Preserve.

While there we had lunch near a herd of Zebra, saw numerous monkeys, and saw the beautiful dam built by LEL's people.  (Not enough concrete to be from mine.)  In many of these nature parks they have paved roads, but also unpaved roads to travel on to see animals.  We saw an unpaved road that looked like it had been used, and decided to give it a try.  Low clearance + No 4wd = stuck car.  I had to walk back to the info center to ask for help.  The woman asked me why we went down this road, and I told her that if they'd have given us a map, I wouldn't have in the first place.  She called for help, which is where I heard the Zulu word for idiot.  (It's yejane in case you're wondering.)  A man came up with a Land Cruiser, and off we went to our stuck vehicle.  He looks at it, says, "Stuck", makes a motion like backing up, and leaves.  We sit for almost 10 minutes, and just when I'm about to go back to the center, the man arrives with a large red tractor.  He hooks us up, pulls us out, and we're on our way.

The car got fixed on Thursday, but by then we'd had enough.  We packed up and left Friday.  It wasn't that busy, but apparently the road we traveled (the N3) was very dangerous.  About 15 minutes after we passed an area a HUGE accident occurred an 6 people died.  That happened a lot here.  You always have large casualties in accidents, sadly.

Christmas was brilliant.  The kids loved the gifts Santa brought, I got an ice cream maker, a book on ice cream recipes from Ben & Jerry's, a Batman Belt Buckle, a Batman DVD, a Batman Comic book, a Batman t-shirt, 2 different Captain America t-shirts, and Spider man cuff-links.  Yeah, I'm a geek.  LEL got a tri-pod for her video camera, the entire series of Buffy, last season from How I met Your mother, tea mugs from Ali Miller (which were featured on the TV show "Sherlock") and a Jane Eyre t-shirt, which she adores.

However, Christmas was cut short by news that a very dear friend of LEL had died the day after Christmas. It happened quickly, and was a shock for everyone.  So, Saturday LEL and the kids flew back to England for the funeral, and for LEL to help with the arrangements.  Very sad way to end the year indeed.

It's been a quick year.  Time always moves faster when you live oversees in the Foreign Service.  I'm now almost 1/2 way through my tour here in Johannesburg, and this summer we'll be looking to bid for our next job.  Seems difficult to believe we've been here so long.  It's been a good year with some difficult times.  However, LLG is growing more and more sure of herself.  She loves the new main-stream school she's in, and has even made some friends.  Crazy Little Man is becoming his own little person, and definitely has his own personality.  (He's larger than life in his mind.)  LEL started a new job, and is getting rave reviews for it. Me?  I got promoted, we're all relatively healthy and happy.  Hopefully it continues into the new year.

Thank you reader for letting my random brain droppings entertain you this year.  I've had over 2000 views since I started this new blog in June, which boggles my mind.  I just can't imagine people wanting to read my thoughts, or even to read my attempts at music reviews, but apparently they do.  So thank you.  May the New Year bring you happiness, health and joy to you and yours.

My Inner Lester Bangs: "Woman's a Devil" by Goldfish

I know I should be talking about our trip to Durban and Christmas and everything, but frankly I can't be bothered at the moment.  It's been a draining couple of days, and I think I'd rather talk about something else right now.  Later I'll discuss the trip, Christmas and everything else.

However, today I want to talk about another South African group, Goldfish.  Their new song, "Woman's a  Devil" has been playing constantly all over the country, and it is very catchy.

Goldfish are an electronic band (like Basement Jaxx whom they opened for previously) from Cape Town made up of Dominic Peters and David Poole.  They've been around since 2006 and have release 8 albums in that time.  (Of course some of those albums were re-mixes, but when you do electronic music that can be an entire new album anyway.)

This song starts off with a little bit of 1930s sound influence to it, but also a little bit of Jamiroquai.  Song starts with a breathless female voice talking about how she's just being nice to this person, but that they really don't have a thing going on.  ("No secret wink/no just a drink/it's coffee all the way.")  The chorus is the man's response.  "Woman's a devil/That devil stole my heart./and now she's gone forever/we'll always be apart.")  The music continues on with this for the entire song.  Very cool, and great music to listen to on a hot day in Johannesburg.  I wouldn't be surprised if this song crossed over to the states, as it has that pop flavor to it that begs for mass radio saturation.

Give it a listen and let me know what you think.

Holiday Party and introducing Mexican Food to South Africans

Since everyone in Johannesburg leaves town after the 14th, I decided to buy my entire section lunch today.  All 30+ of them.  The entire Management section.  Yeah, it was going to get expensive.

But they deserved it.  It's been a long and busy year here in Jozi, and my team had done one hell of a good job.  It's not easy being short-handed and still being able to do a superb job.  I'm very proud of them and wanted to show my appreciation.  So catered lunch it was.

In Johannesburg, unlike in Pretoria or pretty much anywhere in South Africa, they actually have ok Mexican restaurants.  One of them is called Mexican Fresh.  The chef is from Mexico, and the owner's father lives in LA.  So, they at least get the basic idea of what Mexican is supposed to be, and what it should do.  So I contacted them about catering for me.  Burritos, tacos, quesedillas, chimichangas, guac and salsa. Good stuff.  He was very happy because he's been trying to get people to order from him for a long time, but it just hasn't worked.  So, give em a taste, and see what happens.

Well, the entire section, that is in town, came by for lunch.  Everyone had a good time, many of them ate their weight in quesedillas, and many of them were surprised that they enjoyed Mexican food.  (Guacamole was a popular thing, which isn't strange because Avocado is huge here.)  Needless to say, I enjoyed being an emissary for Tex-Mex, and they enjoyed free food and being recognized for the work they do.  Win-Win for everyone involved.

So next year maybe I'll do it again.  It'll be my last Christmas in Jozi, and by then we should know what we'll be doing in 2014.  Still, it was nice to be sitting with my staff, enjoying ourselves before the new year begins with a vengeance.

In other news, Saturday the family goes on vacation for a week to Durban.  Just like the rest of South Africa.  (It's either Durban or Cape Town for summer break here.)  So Indian Ocean here we come!  We'll drive down Saturday morning, which takes anywhere from 6-8 hours.  Send good thoughts our way, as the kids will be in the back and they'll be a bit cranky, I'm sure.  Photos when we get back!

When a Parent Gets Sick

You know, it's a lot easier for Parents to be sick on weekends, when the other one is there to help out with the kids.  However, if it bleeds into the week, and school is out for one of the kids, it becomes a bit more daunting of a task.

As I've said previously, when school breaks hit here in South Africa, lots of stuff close down.  December especially.  Everyone leaves town, and Johannesburg becomes a virtual ghost town.  Since Crazy Little Man goes to a local day care, they closed down for December last Friday.  Lovely Little Girl is off after school on Friday for 3 weeks.  We're off for a week to Durban starting on Saturday.  So of course Lovely English Lass got sick this weekend.

To be honest, I'm not shocked.  We've got a history of being ill before trips, so this was bound to happen.  Better now than when I'm driving the N3 to Durban and we've just passed the "No petrol for 100 km" sign, right?  Anyways, it could be worse.

Poor LEL.  She was aching, and her head hurt, and it hit quite quickly.  In the 7 years we've been married, I've never seen her that miserable over a virus.  (I've seen her more miserable, but it had to do with child birth and that's not something to discuss, ok?)

We went to the doctor's office, and the doctor was a bit flummoxed by it all but gave her some stuff to make it better.  Meanwhile, out in the outer office, I was dealing with CLM and his frequent temper tantrums.  Let's just say he's lucky he's my child and not that of my grandmother or mother.  You did NOT act out like that in public with any of those ladies.  (Like most good southern boys, I love my momma, but I'm also still scared of her.  I was once asked when I would stop being scared of my mother, and I replied, "Two days after I'm dead.  Jesus may not find me the first day, but she would.")

So Daddy was left alone with the two kids this weekend while mummy was upstairs in our room asking what she had done to deserve this.  To be honest, I have always very much appreciated my wife for what she has given up to be with me, and what she does to keep the family moving.  But I appreciate her now more than ever.  With my kids for 2 days trying to keep them away from mummy so she can get some rest, trying to keep them from beating each other while I'm in the bathroom, or even trying to get them to eat something healthy is a chore in and of itself.  All weekend long, all I heard was: "Where's mummy?"  "Mummy is NOT sick!"  (That's LLG.  She can't stand to have someone ill in the family.)  (crying): "I want MUMMY!"  (That's CLM.)

So I survived, but with my head bowed and bloodied from the whole experience.  Goodness me is it hard being a parent.  Kind of wished I'd known this earlier.  I would have read more before the kids came.  Then again, knowing my kids, they would read it and done the opposite, so there's that.

My Inner Lester Bangs: "Take Five" from Dave Brubeck Quartet

Just heard the sad news that Dave Brubeck died yesterday.  What a legend.  Here's this nerdy looking guy that completely changed how Jazz could be listened to by everyone.  He was one of the biggest proponents of West Coast Jazz.  But he was so much more.  He also wrote for the Charlie Brown specials, which alone would make him a legend.  However, what makes him a legend is actually one album.

Time Out is an album that shouldn't have happened.  Jazz was always based on the improvisation, and not on strict time signatures.  Pretty much everyone used normal time for Jazz, and that's the way it was.    Brubeck comes along and records an entire album of music consisting of pieces with rare and difficult to play, time signatures.  9/8 and 5/4 are not something you hear a lot of in Western Music.  And as a musician, adding that 5th beat to a measure is tricky on 5/4.  You just can't understand how huge this was, and the chance that Columbia Records took at the time in releasing it.  (They did stipulate that he release a "normal" record prior to this one, so they tried to cover themselves I suppose.

Brubeck was influenced by his time on a US Department of State sponsored trip of Eurasia.  Especially Turkish folk music, which is in 9/8.  (To get a sense of that, listen to Blue Rondo a la Turk and see how strange it sounds, but how awesome it works.)  So, I have the Department of State in common with Mr. Brubeck.  Which is nice.

Here's the deal with "Take Five": it shouldn't work.  Dave Brubeck and the alto sax player, Paul Desmond (who actually wrote "Take Five") formed a very solid West Coast Jazz power.   The drummer, Joe Morello, was fantastic and technical Jazz drummer who could play the complex time signatures.  However, the bassist, Eugene Wright, was a traditional, Kansas City-Style of bass playing, which should have been at odds with the West Coast Jazz of Brubeck and Desmond.  (Stay with me, this is important.)  None of this should have worked.

But it did.  "Take Five" is a masterpiece.  Desmond is an amazing sax player, and the percussion section of Brubeck and Morello are great.  The entire thing is held together by the strong bass line played by Wright.  All these things meld together to give you 5 minutes and 24 seconds of bliss.  Amazingly, the drum solo keeps the 5/4 time, which is unheard of in these days of drummers losing their minds and playing on for 10 minutes.  (John Bonham and Keith Moon being the people who basically invented the extended drum solo.)  But to keep it in time boggles.

This song is so amazing that I don't even really need to pimp it out to people.  If you haven't heard it, you should.  The musicianship of these 4 people playing together is a treat for the ears.  Sit in a room with the lights off, your eyes shut, and this playing.  You might have a religious experience.

Sadly, Paul Desmond died in 1977.  Joe Morello, voted best drummer 5 years running by Down Beat Magazine, died in 2011.  Dave Brubeck left us yesterday, and the only one left from that recording is Eugene Wright.  Go and do me a favor: listen to this song.  In fact, if you go to a Panera Bread, you might accidentally hear it while you sit there.  I think Dave Brubeck would have liked that.  Even though his music was difficult, he was trying to make it accessible for everyone.  He succeeded.  Thank you Dave.  RIP.

My little girl turns 6

By the time you read this, my lovely little girl will have turned 6.  She was born on December 4, 2006 at almost 2 am.  (Which means when I called my parents back home it was still December 3.  Time zones are confusing, no?)

To be honest, it's been a busy year for my lovely little girl.  She has worked very hard and is making very good progress.  We did have some low points in the year, especially when this, and this happened.  But LLG got into AISJ, a main-stream school, and her teacher has been a God-send.

Still LLG is her own little girl, and one that seems to defy everything you might think you know about her.  Just when I've about given up trying to get her to show affection for me, she runs and gives me a hug and a kiss.  Or she'll sit in my lap and get giggly.  Or the pure joy on her face when she is happy.  These are the things that make me try harder.  She is a smart little girl, with a slight mischievous side to her.  When she gets up VERY early in the mornings, she closes the door to our room so we can't see what she's doing.  (More than likely she's about to wake her brother up.)  We'll hear a door slam in the kitchen and find that she's made herself a snack.  She's learned, sadly, how to get onto the counters by using the doors for the cabinets as a step-stool.

However, I know life wouldn't be anywhere near as lovely without her.  Watching her with my wife, or with her grandmothers, or even female friends of the family, I know that is a caring child just waiting to see what life brings.  Hopefully I'm around long enough for her to find her niche, because I think that'll be an amazing thing.  Daddy loves you Lovely Little Girl.  Happy Birthday.

My Inner Lester Bangs: "Jolene" by The White Stripes

The first time I ever heard Jack White sing "Jolene" was at the Alexandra Palace in London with my friend Ang.  She'd gotten tickets to the White Stripes gig and sold me one.  (Thanks Ang!)  The opening act was a band from Detroit named Blanche, a kind of alt. country/ Southern Gothic band that had an auto-harp in it.  (Try to find something from them, as they were a pretty great band.  The lead singer started the concert with, "Hello, we're Blanche." and then started playing.  I liked that.)  The gig was great, and in the middle of it, Jack White started to play a very haunting song I'd heard before, but couldn't place.

"Jolene" as everyone knows is a Dolly Parton song.  It's the type of 70s Country song you'd expect:  Married woman's husband is in love with someone else, and she's begging the woman to leave her man alone.  It's a fantastic song in Dolly's repertoire, and perfect for her.  (Although I certainly couldn't see anyone stealing Dolly's man.  She'd probably get a good beating for that.)  Still great song, and not one you'd expect to be covered by The White Stripes.

However, Jack White is a fan of that stuff.  He was originally in a cow-punk band in Detroit named Goober and The Peas, and has also worked extensively with Loretta Lynn.  He loves old country music, and it has influenced him probably as much as Son House has.  So it's not a stretch for them to cover a song.

The one thing you have to get over is that Jack White doesn't change the words from feminine to masculine to make you feel better about it.  There is no, "I'm begging of you, please don't take my girl."  He leaves it as man.  It changes the meaning of the song, and certainly gives the listener a new perspective on what's being said.

Then of course is the sound of Jack White's voice.  Dolly's voice, even though the song is sad, still has a bit of a bounce in it.  (It's Dolly Parton for goodness sake.)  Jack's voice has more of a hard edge to it (as it would) but also a bit more of an urgency in it.  There's an actual pleading in the voice.  You can hear the heartache.

The music is of course heavy on guitar, but also very haunting at the beginning, with a lone guitar with an effect in the background.  Starts the song with a bit of foreboding.

Live, this song just rocked.  I can't tell you how the Ally Pally blew up while this song was being played.  I'm sad that the White Stripes decided to call it a day, but at least you can listen to the music.  See if you can find this song, and I think you'll like it.

Water outages and visit blues

So you've got a major visit going... what's the worst that can happen?

How about having about 90% of the homes in your housing pool go without water.  Yeah, this is what happened today as we've got a Cabinet level visit to Johannesburg.  Talk about a good start!

This happens to us about once every two to three weeks.  I wake up, make tea and coffee for my lovely wife and I, and then watch as the water pressure SLOWLY starts to drop.  Soon, none of the faucets work, and we're stuck without a shower for the day.  Got to admit, place always smells a little nicer that day as everyone is wearing cologne or perfume, but it does get a bit overpowering.  And you just feel gross.

Luckily for me the hotel that the delegation is staying in has a water supply separate from the city water.  Otherwise, very upset group.

In a bit of kismet, though, the group that just lowered our hardship differential from 10% to 5% was in town for this massive water outage.  (It's also affecting Pretoria, 45 miles away.)  So, they are getting to see that maybe they jumped to a bit of a conclusion about this place.

As for the visit, the Secretary (but not State's Secretary) arrived an hour early.  This lead to much running around and moving of vehicles to accommodate her.  One of the advance learned a good lesson, which is don't hand a passport to someone who may look like they know what they're doing, as you might lose it.  (He got it back, but it took some doing.)  So between me re-arranging vehicles like I was moving place settings at a dinner party, and then sprinting to help load the luggage for the rest of the traveling crew, it was a busy day.  Tomorrow I get to get up early and travel to the airport and do it all again in reverse.  FUN!

Things I've learned from this trip:

1) You'll never get the credit if you're a Management Officer.  It's your job.
2) It's easier to just take over a visit from another section's head, as you'll do the work anyways.
3) As difficult as it is, don't punch anyone.  No matter how much they deserve it.  (I didn't punch anyone.)

To be honest, though, this visit has been quite good.  The people visiting are great, and the principal is very nice as well.  Stress just makes me grumpy.  Then again, being hungry does the same thing, so it's not a difficult state for me to achieve.

My Inner Lester Bangs: "Come With Me Now" by Kongos

A very happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers.  That being my wife, my family, old friends from Port Orange that are on the night shift at the hospital, and random people who googled "Lester Bangs Gay".  (That's a real search that found my blog, btw.  Not sure where that came from.)

Anyways, back to MILB on Friday.  This week, I'm going to give you a band from South Africa.  Kongos are 4 brothers whose father was a famous (in South Africa) singer named John Kongos.  John's biggest hit is in fact something you might have heard before.  It was a song called "He's Going to Step On You Again."  In 1990 it was released as "Step On" by The Happy Mondays.  (With the great line of "you're twistin my melon man.")

Well, Kongos are a rock band from South Africa with a very eclectic sound.  I mean, "Come With Me Now" starts off with an accordion.  How many rock bands would have the guts to do that?  Not many I can tell you.  They sound like nothing I've heard before in music.  I definitely like that they are trying to stretch themselves, and find a way to get their music out there.  In South Africa they are huge.  I mean, they played at Joburg Day 2012, and people on the radio still talk about it.  (It was in September.)  They and the Parlotones are the forefront of a large group of music coming from South Africa.

Now, onto the song.  The lyrics speak of anxiety and fear, which is something we know a bit about.  I can certainly identify with the first verse: "Afraid to lose control; caught up in this world; I've wasted time I've wasted breath; I think I've thought myself to death."  Powerful stuff really.

It's a hard driving song with a lull in the middle for the bridge.  The bridge has a haunting quality to it, with the music slowing and lowering with the main part sung in almost a falsetto ("Far Away, I heard him say") answered by a low, almost guttural growl, ("Come with me now") and trading back and forth, almost call and response.  It's a good trick as the song picks up again and thrashes it's way onward.

At the end, it gets a bit deep but even then there's a bit of humor in the subject.  The last verse says, "Confused what I thought with something I felt; Confuse what I feel for something that's real; I tried to sell my soul last night; funny, he wouldn't even take a bite."

Go out and buy the Kongos CD.  I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by it.

The Ride Is Over

Well, kind readers, I didn't get to finish the race.  I decided to stop at 74 km.  I know, I know, 20 km short!  How could I?  Well, I did some quick calculations and realized I was going to be swept up anyways, so why not get a start on the post-ride soak back home.  Besides, my legs had been cramping up for an hour, and I just couldn't handle any more hills.

If you remember the map I posted last week, I stopped just short of the turn-off from the N14 to Summit.  (And believe me, it was a summit.)  I got in the back of a truck with my bike and 3 other people, and off we sped.  Until the last water point, where we all got out, put our bikes in the back of a trailer, with about 20 other bikes, and boarded a large bus.  As I sat on the bus, I felt a little sad that I didn't finish.  The thrill of crossing the finish line with everyone cheering me, getting a medal, and the feeling of accomplishment was something I wanted.  However, I thought some more on it.  74 km is WAY longer a distance than I probably should have done.  I hadn't trained hardly at all, and was a little unprepared food-wise.  (I gotta say, though, that the peanut butter packets were AWESOME!  Since I'm not allowed to have any in the house do to a lethal nut allergy from Lovely Little Girl, this was heaven.)  Plus, on the way to 74 km, I saw a lot of people being swept up before I was, and many of them looked like they were in much better shape than I was, so this was quite the accomplishment.

A few thoughts:

1) Johannesburg is HILLY!  I'm talking major, San Francisco style hilly.  It was crazy.  I was in low gear pretty much the entire time going up these hills, and 4 times I had to get off to walk because it was 3 km long climb that just kept going up, and one time because I mis-timed my gear change and the chain came off.  Not fun at all.

2) Riding through Johannesburg Central Business District was eye-opening.  Looked like any major inner-city.  Run down, falling apart infrastructure, public housing estates. But the people came out and cheered everyone on.  It was very nice.  When we moved into the city to go to Gandhi Square, I heard loud music.  Not unusual, since many groups set up along the route and blast music, but there wasn't anyone around.  It was then I realized that it was Sunday, and these were church services.  That was very heartening.

3) This town LOVES this bike ride, even though it disrupts traffic.  People all over cheering you on, offering water, food and even a place to stop for a beer.  (Not sure anyone took them up on the offer.)  Kids came out to slap your hand, and everyone cheered for you no matter who you were.  (I was wearing my Arkansas Razorback bike jersey, and one woman cheering me on yelled, "C'mon Kansas!  You can do it!"  I was tempted to stop and explain it was Arkansas, not Kansas, and that we came first and that it should be pronounced "Kansaw", but I never look an encouraging word in the mouth.)

4) The route took us past some of the roughest areas surrounding Jozi.  Lanseria and Diepsloot are but two, and man was that eye-opening.  They also came out to cheer us on, but it was slightly different.  While the adults stood and cheered, the kids further down kept asking the riders for chocolate.  (Kudos for knowing that the bikers use chocolate to keep themselves going, but sad that they kept asking.)  Really underlined for me the disparity in this country.  People were driving past them on bicycles that cost $4-5k, and these kids hardly had anything to eat.  Sad really.

5) The people that threw this event REALLY now how to do it.  Each water point was like a party.  They had mechanics there to help with the bikes; water tables with water, Powerade and Coke; ambulance crews for injuries; and physio-therapists to help with muscle problems.  On occasion they had tunnels for you to go through with water spraying down.  Really well done, and a great race.

So I didn't finish the race, and yeah I feel bad that I didn't.  But I did finish the majority of it, in very high altitude, without really training for it.  In temps on the road approaching 45 degrees centigrade.  I can safely say that I am proud of what I did.  It wasn't pretty at all, but I'm glad I did it. Now if I can just get an ice pack to sit on for the next two days, I'll be fine.

Bike Ride

So, the time has come for me to do my bike ride.

If you remember, I told you about my insane idea to do the Momentum 94.7 Cycle Challenge, wherein I will ride my bicycle for 94.7 km (about 60 miles for you Americans out there) around Johannesburg.  5,800 feet above sea level at it's highest point.  And I definitely haven't been training as much as I should have.  Lovely English Lass is pretty worried about it I can tell.

But, my last training ride on Monday I did quite well, so off I go.  My number tracker is KK 24433, and I start at 914 am Johannesburg time.  (That's 714 GMT and 214 am EST.)  My goal is to finish in 4 hours, which is an average of around 24 km per hour.  That'd be great.  If I don't average that, then I might get swept up by the ride van, meaning my day is over.  Check later to see how I did at www.cyclechallenge.co.za.

Recently I purchased a new bike for the race.  While I loved my Mongoose Mountain Bike from Wal-Mart, it wasn't going to get my where I needed.  So I bought a new Fuji Nevada 3.0 MTB.  Nice bike, and a great ride.  (Usually takes me 20 minutes to ride my old bike from my house to the Consulate.  With the new one, it took 10.)

Here's the route

So, pray for me kind reader.  Hopefully I do this, and then I can continue to get back into shape.  Plus, if I can do this, I can do anything, right?

Hyperbole

This election season brought out the hyperbole from everyone.  I've watched it on my Facebook page, I've seen it in the comments section of blogs and newspaper articles I read online.

Seriously people, I'm glad everyone got involved in the election, and that everyone is passionate about the direction they think the country is headed.  But let me just say something: Chill.

Really, everyone needs to just calm down.  Those people saying they fear for the future of our country: Why?  What exactly do you fear?  Those that are saying they can't be friends with either a Democrat or a Republican: Why?  What exactly is a reason not to be friends with someone?  I've heard of people un-friending people on Facebook because of the election.  That's insane!  Just because you don't agree with someones political bent doesn't mean you can't be friends with them.  But I hear it all over, on both sides of the political spectrum.

Maybe that's part of the problem, people.  Maybe we all have such a narrow view of the world that we can't seem to understand why others would believe something else.  That you have to surround yourself with like-minded people to reinforce your world view means that maybe you're just a TINY bit afraid to see what else is out there for fear that what you think is wrong.

Life is a learning experience.  We don't walk along life without learning something new every day.  How boring would it be if we never tested the boarders of our beliefs, and instead constantly hid from seeing that maybe what we believed isn't totally black and white, but really a shade of grey.

But let's cut the hyperbole out of our conversations.  Obama is no more a Socialist than Ronald Reagan was.  (I've lived in Socialist countries, and believe me: What he's pitching ain't Socialism.  Until he starts paying women to go to the Doctor for their pre-natal check-ups, and paying for daycare for working moms, and giving lunch vouchers to every worker, then it isn't even close to Socialism.)  The Republicans aren't Nazis.  (No one is a Nazi, unless they are actual Nazis.  Calling someone you don't agree with a Nazi is a cop-out and an easy way to lose an argument.)

Oh, and one more thing.  If you can't be friends with a Democrat and you're a friend of mine, then I'm sorry that you'll be un-friending me.  I'll miss you, and would still be your friend.  Also, I may be a registered Democrat, but I also vote for the person I believe will do the best.  There have been Republicans I've agreed with on things, and would have voted for if I could.  (Bill Weld from Massachusetts or John Heinz from Pennsylvania are but two.)

Heck, if I un-friended all Republicans I'd lose almost my entire family and lots of my oldest and best friends.

Please, let's just try to work together.  And remember the old saying in the Southern US: If you want to remain friends, never discuss Politics, Religion, or College Football.  That's something I think we can all agree on, don't you?

Elections

Tomorrow is the election.  I've already voted, and hopefully my absentee ballot will get to there in time.  I want my vote to count.  Voting is a civic duty, and it is an absolute scandal that most of the US doesn't take the time to vote.

To be honest, I'm kind of glad that I am not in the US for election season.  I live in either Virginia, where the airwaves are saturated with commercials, or Florida, where the airwaves are saturated with commercials.  I'd rather watch the Eastern Motors commercials than anything to do with campaigns.

Since 2000, when I left to go overseas, I've only been in country once for an election.  2004.  (Interesting note, I went to have rhinoplasty surgery the day of the inauguration.  Came home and my friends Court and Bear, who were in DC for the inauguration, watched me suffer through not being able to breathe.)  Every other election I've watched it from the comfort of another country.

In 2000, I was in Suriname, sitting down with the Vice President of Suriname explaining the ins and outs of the electoral college, and how the great part is that usually there is no ambiguity.  We know who wins right away.  Oops.  Yeah, that was a fun breakfast to be at.

In 2004, before I came home in August, I got to speak at a girls school in London.  I spoke about the differences in the US and UK elections, and got a very good response to my speech.  (I also almost hit the headmistress in the head with a piece of candy and had a lovely discussion about why I once drove 2 hours to Philly for a cheesesteak.  They asked if I could have gotten one in DC, and the short answer is "No."  Long answer is no as well.)

In 2008 I was in Luxembourg with my little family, and expecting Crazy Little Man in March.  We were also preparing to go to Bolivia, but that didn't work out.  I didn't do anything special except wait for the election results to come in, and then find out if our Ambassador would be staying the entire time or not.  (She did.)

So, once again I'm out of the country during the Presidential election.  I have followed it extensively from South Africa.  We'll have a breakfast on Wednesday for people to come and watch the results, talk to everyone about what this means, and then go back to work.

That's what most people don't understand about the Foreign Service.  It doesn't matter who is in charge, we have a job to do and we do it.  I mean, some people resign because they can't serve under certain administrations.  (And not just Democratic ones, either.  Contrary to popular belief, there are a LOT of politically conservative people that work in the Department of State.  The three largest groups of people in the Department are former military, Mormons and former Peace Corps.  Now, two of those are known to be very conservative.  Just saying.)

Well, that's my discussion.  If you're wondering whom I voted for, let me tell you:  Nunya Business.  Besides, I don't politicize that sort of thing.  Just vote, ok?

MILB: 4th of July Asbury Park (Sandy) by Bruce Springsteen

When I saw the destruction of Hurricane Sandy, my breath was taken away.  I knew a lot of people in the New York/New Jersey area, and had been there a couple of times as well.  Seeing Atlantic City like that was heartbreaking.  It may not have been what it was back in the early 20th Century, but AC was something special.  Seeing the Boardwalk (yes, the very same Boardwalk that is the most expensive property in Monopoly) torn to pieces is unbelievable.  Seeing the other seaside areas destroyed and the lives this ruined  was almost too much to handle.

As I read blogs from the area trying to find out how things really were, and if the storm was really as bad as the pictures suggested, I kept finding this song mentioned, or the YouTube video of it.  "4th of July Asbury Park (Sandy)" , or just ironically, "Sandy" kept being mentioned as showing what the shore was like to New Jersey.  Springsteen himself said once, "You travel around and people say, 'Hey, what's Asbury Park like?' and I play them this number."

This is what it was like along the coast in New Jersey.  Like I said, I have a lot of friends from that area.  I went to The George Washington University, and there were tons of people there from Jersey.  (In fact, back in the day you could name a city and I'd tell you what exit off the Parkway it was.)  Seriously, New Jersey was where almost everyone was from.  (GW once made a shirt with a map of the US without Jersey on it that said, "GW: I'm not from New Jersey.")  When they told me of their summers, it was always camp or going to the shore with their families.  Going to the arcades, walking on the boardwalk, hanging out on the beach and getting in trouble.  They'd talk about the rides at the pier, or just sitting on the beach.

It wasn't just people from New Jersey either.  People from the Philly area also had fond memories of the Jersey Shore, before that phrase was tainted by people like Snookie.  Billy Joel mentioned the Shore in his song, "Allentown."  It was also where they spent summers.  For my British readers (all 4 of you, whom I'm probably related by marriage), it would be like Brighton, or Blackpool.  (Mostly Blackpool, now that I think about it.)

This song is a fantastic ballad, and really evokes the shore of New Jersey.  Even the part of the fortune teller being arrested.  How many times have I been on the boardwalk in AC and passed by the fortune tellers plying their trade?  Lots.  It's one of those things that happens in old seaside towns.

Listen to the song, and see what Jersey has lost.  Bruce was right.  I've heard my friends talk about the Jersey Shore and the power it holds.  We've seen the destruction, and now I think we'll see it being rebuilt.  Atlantic City will be back, along with Seaside Heights, Asbury Park, Sea Isle City and all the others.  At least I hope so.

Prayers to those who were in harms way, and a quick recovery to all.

Halloween

You know, sometimes Halloween isn't just for kids.  I mean, I always loved going out dressed up.  (I went as Jimmy Carter in 1980.  Overalls, mask with big toothy smile and a bag of peanuts.)  However, once you get older, it gets much more difficult to go out.  You start being too cool to dress up, and then it gets creepy if you do.

However, once you have a kid you can go out and get dressed up again, because it's about the kids.  (Although I hate when the parents come along and trick or treat too.  Had it happen two years ago and really peeved me.  Especially because the parents weren't handing out candy at their house!)  So this year, while Lovely Little Girl went as Hello Kitty! (Natch) and Crazy Little Man got dressed up as Captain America, Lovely English Lass and I decided to go for costumes as well.  She bought a Morticia Adams dress and put on a hat with spider webs and looked great.  Sadly, this wasn't her first choice, but they don't make Jane Eyre costumes, now do they?  I on the other hand went with the Dark Knight.  I thought it would be pretty funny, and thought the costume was probably flimsy, but it'd do alright for one night, right?

Well, my costume came in the mail, and it rocked!  I put it on and immediately went to see LEL.  She wasn't expecting it and jolted her a little.  LLG just wanted to touch the fake muscles, but it was a success.

The Consulate had a party on Saturday, and LEL was in charge of putting the whole thing together.  I walked up with the kids, looking like this:

Yeah, I rock.

On a more personal note, my thoughts and prayers are for those on the East Coast (and further inward as well) of the US.  Many of my friends live in the areas affected, and I hope you and your families are well and that your homes are ok.  It's times like this we all need to remember that we're in this world together.  Help each other when we can, and be good to each other.  Politics and other issues may divide us, but something like this doesn't discriminate between liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican.  Right now, we're all just humans.

MILB: Placebo

I remember when I first saw the movie, "Cruel Intentions."  Great opening scene with Ryan Phillipe driving along to this great song I'd never heard before.  When I got the DVD, it had the video on it.  It was a song called "Every You, Every Me" by a band called Placebo.  I'd never heard of them, but the video had parts of the movie inter cut with them singing the song at a concert.  The place was packed, and it looked as if they were famous.  How had I missed these guys?

Well, Placebo had never really made an impact in the US.  They're two Belgian guys who actually went to school together at the American school in Luxembourg, but met again in London and formed a band.  The said the name Placebo came from when bands were naming themselves after drugs (like The Crystal Method) and thought it would be funny to name themselves Placebo.  It took hold.

I gotta say, I really like Placebo.  Androgynous and with a definite unique sound that made you know that it was Placebo when you heard the song.  I've actually seen them twice in concert.  The first time they were one of the acts on the second day of the Reading Festival in 2003.  Fantastic set, and my friend, Chuck, even became a fan of them.  "Special K" was a great song, as was "Nancy Boy".  I bought their then new album, "Sleeping With Ghosts" which had the song, "Special Needs" on it, which is really good.  Somehow they got lumped into the BritPop group, but they were never really part of it.  They had a different sound, a bit darker.  With lots of references to their drug use, they reminded me of a more goth, peppy version of Alice In Chains.  "Without You I'm Nothing" is a great duet with David Bowie, and "Protege Moi" is a dark kind of song.  "English Summer Rain" is actually a little tongue in cheek, as in the line, "English Summer Rain seems to last for ages."

The European version of "Sleeping with Ghosts" has an extra DVD with B-sides.  One of them is a cover of Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill".  Dark and eerie, it adds a whole new level to the song that wasn't there in Kate's version.  The official video was made using clips of their fans singing the song, which makes it even more haunting.  Highly recommend you find it on YouTube.

Anyways, Placebo never really took off too much in the states.  Don't know why, but maybe it was the look, or their songs just didn't fit in with much going on the radio at the time.  If you haven't heard them, check them out.  Try their first three albums.  You might like it.

Sometimes Painful, but worth it

I was lucky to have one of the greatest teachers for being a Management officer.  My dad is a City Manager, and is generally regarded as being one of the best pretty much in the US.  (He'll deny this, of course.)  He's gone to numerous countries discussing with them how local government works, and won numerous awards.  Plus, he's been at the same job for 28 years.  That's a LONG time for a City Manager.  So, when I say I learned from the best, that's not hyperbole.

Some of the things dad taught me are still with me.  Always be open when discussing the business of your business.  Always be available.  (My parents have always had a listed number in the phone book, because Dad said the people should be able to reach him.  Which is all and good until you get a death threat, but I digress.)  I've taken that to heart, as all of my Management meetings in the Consulate are not only open to every member of staff, but also their family members as well.  (Since it affects their lives as well, they should know what we're doing too.)  Apparently this isn't done that much in the Foreign Service.  In fact, I'm apparently the only person that does this.  Well, so be it.  Like I've said before, Management Officers in the Foreign Service are masochists.

However, since Dad didn't have to move people around with all their posessions, not everthing could be taught.  Here's a secret: When people move countries, even to places like Great Britain, they get culture shock.  Usually it happens around a month to 3 months in country.  And when it hits, the first person they take it out on is the Management section at the Embassy or Consulate.  Everything is our fault.  Your kid fall off the trampoline at your house?  Management should have done something about it.  You can't get a part to fix a leaky skylight until Monday?  Not good enough!  Your HHE shipment is delayed due to labor unrest and truckers won't drive because they are being firebombed?  Yeah, that's my fault too.

So why do it?  Why take the abuse you know will come your way?  Why not chuck it and do something else?  Well, that's something else that my dad taught me.  Public service is an honor and privilege.  I serve my country and my fellow countrymen, and it's something I'm immensely proud of doing.

It's Like watching Lovely Little Girl

My wife, who is very active on Facebook with other Autism parents, saw this on one of her friend's facebook pages.  It quickly made the rounds to the other Autism parents.

If you ever want to know how it has been sometimes with Lovely Little Girl, watch the video prior to the performance.  I've seen her do all of those things.  But, also watch what she does after the performance.  The sideways hug, the raising her hands up and down showing she was excited, the look on her face... That was my Lovely Little Girl right there.  Not afraid to say it was very dusty in the room when we watched this video.  I mean it.  Even Lovely English Lass, who definitely has mastered the British Stiff Upper Lip, was teary-eyed.

This is why we fight, and why I will never give up on my little girl.  She might not play piano like this little girl, who is lovely in her own right, but she has talent as well.  Her drawings are getting so much better, and I can definitely see she has something to say when she draws.  One day maybe we'll be going to an art opening for her.  Or watching her decide to do something else.  Still, this video demonstrates why kids on the Spectrum need our support, so they can become active members of society.  Oh, and thank you Jon Stewart and Katy Perry and everyone else that participated in Night of Too Many Stars.  This Aspie Daddy is thankful for your support.

(steps down off soapbox.)

Just Stop

To Politicians on both sides of the aisle and the press: Just stop.  Stop using dead Diplomats to make political points.  Just stop.

Stop saying that more should have been done to protect the Consulate in Benghazi when Congress cut the security portion of our budget by a lot.  Just stop.

Stop saying that the US Marine Security Guards should have been at Benghazi.  First of all, learn what the MSG program is actually all about before spouting that nonsense.  The majority of our Consulates, and some Embassies, do not have Marine Security Guards.  We don't in Johannesburg.  MSGs are only in place where top secret classified processing is done.  Their primary job is to protect the Classified info and equipment.  (The joke in A-100, our "How to be a Diplomat" class, was that if you wanted to rescued by the Marines, strap yourself to a classified computer.)  They will defend in the event of an emergency, but even large Embassies only have 6-8 Marines for internal defense.  We depend on our contract guards and the local police to help us in emergencies.  So until you actually know something about this, just stop.

Stop with going through a dead man's diary looking for a news scoop.  If you're reading this, you probably know me.  Please imagine I had been one of those people in Benghazi.  Think of how much hurt it would cause Lovely English Lass, Crazy Little Man and Lovely Little Girl, not to mention my parents and family.  Would you be able to look them in the eyes after something private was scoured through for a breaking news story?  I'd hope not.  Remember, these men died serving their country, and they are heroes.  (BTW, everything I'm saying here for Diplomats goes the same for our men and women in uniform.)  Just stop it.

Stop acting like this is the first time someone in the Foreign Service has ever died on duty.  Go to the actual State Department in Foggy Bottom, and go to the lobby.  On two walls facing each other there are names of Foreign Service officers that have died in the line of duty.  I can tell you in took almost two hundred years to fill up the first wall, and less than 40 to fill up the second.  We've been stereotyped to be these effete snobs drinking wine and eating canapes in European capitals while wearing our pin-stripped suits.  Maybe before World War II, but certainly not any more.  Go read those names.  Read the names from Dar es Salam and Nairobi, when Al Qaeda blew up two of our Embassies in East Africa.  That was 1998.  Now ask yourself why more people don't know about that.  Ask why you don't know the names of some of the others on that wall.  Say a prayer thanking them for their service to our country.  And then just stop.

Finally, and again repeating myself, just stop using dead diplomats for political purposes.  It's bad enough that the Department of State lost bright and talented officers that would have continued to make a difference in the world, but the families of these officers have lost their loved ones.  While they deserve answers to their questions about what happened to their loved ones, they don't deserve to be used as political pawns.

Just stop.

Promotion

In the Foreign Service, to get promoted you have to do several things.  One of them is wait.  You see, prior to getting promoted, you have to spend time in your grade.  Therefore, even if you walk on water, solve the Korean Conflict and write a treaty to stop the weaponization and non-proliferation of the Kardashians, you still have to wait three years before your next try at promotion.  You are also competing twice for promotion.  Once against the people in your cone (Management for me) and if you don't get that, you compete against everyone else in your grade.

Even if you're recommended for promotion, you still might not get it.  Since there are only so many spots available for promotion, you might miss the cut-off.  So, you might end up on the Meritorious Step-Increase list. Also known as the Bridesmaid list,  you get the recognition that you might have been promoted, but didn't do quite enough to do it.  So they give you a raise to make up for the loss.  You also get to bid on jobs one grade higher.  It's a nice sentiment, and the extra money never hurts, but you kind of want to get promoted instead.

The hard part is the wait.  After you hand in your evaluation,  It goes to a committee.  The panel then looks at least the last three years of your evaluations and judge you on that.  Then you have to wait some more.  If you're in the midst of bidding on a new position, and you are up for promotion, this can cause numerous problems.  Do you try and get a job at the lower level, or do you assume you're going to be promoted and bid on higher jobs?  It's all very stressful.  Plus the lists for promotion, which are supposed to come out in August or September, always come later than expected and you are sitting there waiting.  It is very stressful.

Well, I finally got promoted to FS-01.  That's the highest I can get unless I make it into the Senior Foreign Service.  It's the equivalent, in the Military, of being a Full-Bird Colonel.  (In fact, we have assimilated rank if we ever have to serve with troops.  Here's a tip: never use it unless it is really necessary.  The military REALLY hates it when someone that looks like I do starts ordering people around and then says, "Well I have assimilated rank of Colonel, so I outrank you."  Quick way to being left on a dusty road by yourself somewhere.  Plus, I think it's just stupid to do that.  My opinion, but YMMV.)

When the list comes out, especially in DC, people gather around and start looking for names that they know.  There's always a lot of, "Oh, good for him.  He was almost out of tries," or, "Great job!  S/He's going to be an awesome Ambassador one day" and a few, "Really!?!?  They got promoted?"  Since we are such a small organization, pretty much everyone knows everybody else.  You've either met them, or known someone that worked with them.

I wish I could tell you, dear reader, what it is exactly that you have to do to get promoted.  But I can't.  I was promoted on my first try to FS-03 and FS-02.  But it took me three tries to get to FS-01.  And actually that's quite quick according to the statistics from last year, as the average is 5 tries. Frankly I thought I would have gotten promoted with the work I did in Washington on Afghanistan issues, but apparently it wasn't enough.  In fact, I'm sure that somewhere in the world someone saw my name on the promotion list and said, "Really?!?!  What were they thinking?"  That's ok, as I'm sure I've said it about a few people myself.

In the end, the best part is that I've worked very hard in my career, and it's nice to be recognized.  I've gotten a lot of well wishes over the past few weeks, and it's been nice hearing from people I haven't heard from in a while.  Even people that worked under me have emailed, which is a good feeling.  So I'm pretty happy with that.  It's not always been easy, this weird life I've chosen for myself and my family, but it's been good.

And yes, I did want to email the promotion list to that former DCM that kept saying, "John Jay Parker, are you still in the Foreign Service?" just to see the completely fake congratulations she sent back to me.  But I didn't.  I am, after all, a Diplomat.

My Inner Lester Bangs meets My Inner Gene Siskel: "Searching for Sugar Man" and "Cold Fact"

This came from the weekly newsletter here at our Consulate.  I thought, since I wrote it, that I'd re-produce it for you, my readers.  (Basically my family that feel pity that I write and read so I don't feel bad.)

On our recent plane flight, I found myself trying to find a movie to watch, and was captivated by the title of this film.  It looked interesting enough, and so I decided to hit play and see what it was all about.

“Searching for Sugar Man”, now playing at select Ster-kinekor theaters, is the story of a search for an enigma.  The movie tells the story of Rodriguez, a 1970s musician from Detroit that recorded two albums that were well received by critics but didn’t sell much in the US.  Dropped from his label, he disappears.  Usually that’s the end of it.

However, Rodriguez first album, “Cold Fact”, somehow ended up in South Africa, and the album became very popular, selling an estimated 500,000 albums.  One of his fans decides to find out what happened to him, and thus one of the most fantastical stories ever told begins.

Documentaries can be a tricky thing, as you put under the microscope real life people and expect their stories to entertain you like fictional stories do.  That’s why numerous movies nowadays say, “Inspired by true events.”  They seem like reality, but they’re fudged to make them more entertaining for viewers.  Good documentaries, like “When We Were Kings” or “Dogtown and Z Boys”, actually make reality better than fiction.  “Searching for Sugar Man” is one of those documentaries.  The story of how much music meant to people, in a country very far from where it was originally recorded, shows that humans are more alike that we are different.  As Roger Ebert said in his review of the movie, “I hope you're able to see this film. You deserve to. And yes, it exists because we need for it to.”  

Now, onto the album, "Cold Fact."  The album is quite good for when it was released.  I still don't know how Donovan made it big and Rodriguez didn't.  He SOUNDS a little like Donovan in his "Season of the Witch" time or a little like Harry Nilsson.  Good stuff.  The first song, "Sugar Man" is great in a slightly psychedlic way.  Backed up by what sounds like an orchestra, he hits the song well.  "This is not a song, it's an outburst" has some great imagery in it.  "I woke up this morning with a lake in my head, I splashed on my clothes and I spilled out of bed."  Just fantastic.  "I wonder" is an interesting song, as it asks, "I wonder, how many times you've had sex? and I wonder, do you know who'll be next?"  Brazen for 1970, and even a bit for today.  The rest of the album is just as good, and worth a listen.

If you have a chance, buy the album.  Not often you can hear something that's slipped through the cracks for so long that still sounds good today.

England By Roadtrip, Pt. 2

So, when I last left you, dear reader, we were finishing up our visit to the Angel of the North.  Very impressive, and quite cool.  (Sheffield apparently is planning a statue called "The Man of Steel" which I assume, for copyright reasons, is not going to be a huge statue of Superman.)  Anyways, I finished sulking for not going to Edinburgh, and we headed to Durham.

Our friend, Gee, went to University in Durham, and had always regaled me with discussions of how beautiful it is.  I always listened, but never seriously thought of going.  Well, we went.  Let me tell you now... Durham is amazing!  Beautiful old cathedral, well preserved city, and the feel of a very cool place to live.  (It also has a taco place, so bonus!)  Anyways, we went there, and Lovely English Lass took photos of everything.  The kids behaved reasonable well, and it was lovely out.  We walked, looked into places, I bought two shirts and a cap from a Scottish place that was having a sale.  (So my Scot fix was done.)  There is a beautiful pedestrian bridge over a river that you cross to get to the Cathedral, and the views were just lovely.

One problem.  I was away from LEL and the kids on the opposite side of this bridge, when i saw a man with dreadlocks and a conga drum walk from my side of the bridge to LEL's and spit on her!  I ran over and said, "He spit on you!"  She seemed non-plussed about it, and just shrugged it off.  That took the fight out of me, and I couldn't believe she was not upset.  Turns out, she thought I was talking about Crazy Little Man, and not the weirdo who had spit on her.  LEL has a mixed history of homeless people doing bad things to her.  Once in London, a homeless guy punched her in the shoulder. Strange...

Anyways, after that we went to a nice Organic Farmhouse, had some lunch and went back to Blackpool.  While spending a few more days in Blackpool, we ventured out to Manchester to the Trafford Centre (where close by at Old Trafford 3 weeks later my Spurs would beat Man United 3-2 for the first time since 1989.  Yeah, I'm going to mention that a few times.)  We also went to Lancaster just north of Blackpool.  Amazing town, and a great place to walk around and enjoy oneself.  We went to a pub called The Friary, which as the name suggests, was once a very large church.  Nice place, but felt a little wrong having a beer there, so I had a coke.  But Lancaster was very nice, and a lovely place to visit.

We then travelled all the way down to Devonshire, which took way too long because of traffic in and around Birmingham.  We left at 11 am, and finally arrived at 9 pm.  The trip should have taken 5 hours.  But we saw beautiful sites and cities like Biddeford.  The next day we went to Bude, and walked around, taking in the seaside and loving being out in the fresh air.  LEL didn't end up getting her Cream Tea, but we did have a nice time walking around.  The only problem is that area of England closes at 4 pm on a Saturday.  WHAT!?!

After a brief detour to Biddeford on Sunday, where the entire city was closed, we moved on to Bath.  Like I said with Durham, we can DEFINITELY live in Bath.  Strangely, our hotel was located in the middle of the city, but only cost us 15 quid.  Not too bad, really.  We ate at a pub called the Pig and Fiddle, where I had an Alpaca burger, and the had Anchor Steam and Brooklyn Beer in bottles.  Not only that, but they played jazz music over their speakers that had a sousaphone.  Seemed like home to me!  But Bath also had the Jane Austen Days occuring as well.  Numerous people walking around dressed like the 1800s, and men with sideburns all the way down their face wearing riding boots and top hats.  Very cool place, and we loved visiting.

We then moved down to visit LEL's aunty and uncle, who like in Gweek, Cornwall.  They took us around to The Lizard, the furthest southern point in England, and then to Cream Tea.  I found that the Cornish way to have Cream tea is to put the jam on first and then the clotted cream, because the heat from the scones melts the cream and that's no good.  The Devon way is to put the cream first and then the jam.  (A Public Service announcement from "Know Your English Regions.")  It was lovely, and also quite harrowing.  The roads between Cornish villages were not made for automobiles, and definitely not two coming in opposite directions.  High hedges on the side and trees coming over the road are beautiful, but not conducive to driving when a Range Rover shows up in front of you wanting to pass.  Very tight squeeze.  Plus, at night, it looks like the Headless Horseman is going to come after you.

I wanted to go to Land's End, just to say I'd been there.  (Also a reason to go to John O'Groats.)  LLG got sick on the way, so we made a quick stop in Penzance.  (Yes, Pirates of Penzance did come to mind, and I did sing "Modern Major-General" to myself when I got there.)  Still, it was a lovely town, and we got to have a very nice Cornish Pasty while there.  We then went to Land's End, had photos taken at the famous sign, and returned to Gweek.  We left the next day for London and the end of our trip.

But before London, we had to visit Stonehenge.  LEL had never been, and I felt it was an absolute scandal that she hadn't.  So off to Stonehenge.  Nice place, but gets a bit boring after a bit.  And with two hyper-active children, it's even worse.  So off we went to the London Borough of Hounslow, and a lovely Travelodge right at the end of the runway to Heathrow Airport.  (Hounslow is, if you remember, the setting for "Bend it Like Beckham.")  The Friday we travelled into the city, saw Big Ben and Parliament, walked to Trafalgar Square, found out that my Mexican restaurant near Trafalgar (the Texas Embassy) was no longer there, and walked all over Westminster until the kids had enough.  After a nice rest, the next day we spent it on Richmond Green with friends from all over London.  Quite a good time.  The kids then had McDonalds, or Old McDonalds as they call it, where Crazy Little Man kept staring at the transient family that was seated behind us that kept yelling and screaming at each other.  (A good way to get me in a fight.)  LEL and I had a very nice curry, and we went to sleep ready to leave.

The next day was rainy, which it hardly did while we were in Blighty.  The food at the hotel was awful, and we waited 8 hours in the airport for the plane to leave, but all in all it wasn't a bad day.  The kids were pretty good, and the flight home wasn't too bad.  It was nice coming out and seeing the sunshine and noticing all the familiar stuff around.  While vacation is good, it's always nice to come home and sleep in your own bed.  It was a great visit, and I do miss England many times.  (Especially when Spurs beat Man United at Old Trafford for the first time since 1989.  Did I mention that?)  But we came home with great memories, and hopefully next year when we go back we'll have just as good a time.  For now, I'm happy in SA, and I think that the family is too. At least until a Combe Bus cuts me off in traffic.

England by Road-trip

For our R&R this year we decided to go and visit England.  Lovely English Lass hasn't been back since the first week of 2009, we'd added two nephews and a niece we hadn't seen as of yet, and it was time to get out of Johannesburg.  I had my BlackBerry and we had Virgin Atlantic tickets to London on the 31st.  Sadly, Lovely Little Girl was sick, and it wasn't looking great for the trip over.  She was given some decongestant and anti-biotics, and told that she could fly.  With a heavy heart, and luggage that was surprisingly light, we headed to OR Tambo International Airport on the evening of the 31st.

The flight, 10 1/2 hours of it, wasn't that bad.  Crazy Little Man slept most of the time, and Lovely Little Girl even got some shut-eye.  LEL and I slept as best we could in Cattle class, and hoped everything would go well.  We got our rental car (a Ford Mondeo) and headed out of Heathrow to Blackpool to visit my in-laws.  The weather was great, and surprisingly little traffic on the motorways.  Even Birmingham obliged with no traffic jams.  (That's a miracle for my American readers.)

The in-laws welcomed us into their hotel they own in Blackpool, and we immediately had some fish and chips for supper.  Not a bad start.  The weather was lovely, and the company was good as well.  The next day LEL's brothers arrived with their families, and it was reunion time.  My daughter, who hadn't left her nanny's side, was a bit put off by the arrival of a new girl in the form of my niece, whom I shall call G.  However, later on LLG decided that not only was G a good person, but someone that she had to have around all the time!  They both liked Hello Kitty, and seemed to really get along.  When LLG later got a new Hello Kitty t-shirt with 2 cats on them, she explained that one was LLG Kitty, and the other was G Kitty.  Very cute.  My nephews are very cute as well, and CLM got along with one of them, K, quite well.  It was funny watching these two little kids running all over and causing a ruckus, up to a point.

The day the family left, I decided I had to do a little cultural exchange between my British relatives and my own home country.  So, knowing how much my father-in-law likes them, I got up one morning and made biscuits for them.  Now, in England that would mean a cookie.  In America, they are like scones. My father-in-law calls them lardy cakes, which is just as good a name as any I suppose.  Whatever you call them, they went over very well.  A friend of my in-laws who was there, and normally doesn't do breakfast, had 5 of them, and asked me to make them again!  Again, somewhere in heaven my southern ancestors are smiling down on me.

We stayed in Blackpool for a week, during which we got to see my father-in-law's band play.  (They rocked.  Their name is Happy Daize.  They also have another group called Grass, and the song "Brillo Pad" is really good too.  Kind of like The Specials.)  CLM got an England football kit with Parker 17 on the back.  (That's Scott Parker, the defensive mid-fielder that also plays for Tottenham Hotspur.)  LEL even bought an England team jersey because the youth sizes were on sale and she could fit into it. We also got to go to the Lake District, which is to beautiful for words.  It's most famous, I suppose, for being the home to Beatrix Potter and William Wordsworth and for just being gorgeous.  But you should definitely go there, as it's amazing.

Gorgeous, right?

We then moved on to Sheffield to visit her friends and family.  While there we ate at Wagamama's, one of my favorite restaurants.  (Fun fact, on the night I got LEL to finally start dating me, we ate at a Wagamama's using my winnings from a poker game I'd played in with the MSG in London.  True story.)  CLM, definitely displaying his Crazy side, was all over the place.  He couldn't sit still.  The problem with that is that Wagamama's seats are benches with no backs.  He fell backwards off the bench, hit his head on the marble floor, and let out a scream.  Help came running.  I told them he accidentally fell off, but I was sure he'd be fine.  They brought ice, and told us to let them know if we needed anything else.  After my we paid the bill, they brought over two ice creams for the kids free of charge.  We speculate that they heard my American accent, immediately thought of our litigious society, and offered the ice cream in the hopes that I wouldn't sue the heck out of them.  As good a postulation as any, I'd say.

We met LEL's friend Ray Ray and her family, which was very nice.  Afterwards we stopped at LEL's older brother's house to say goodbye.  Then we headed to Yorkshire, to Bronte country.  Hawirth to be exact.  Almost a pilgrimage, I tell you.  We were in the room Charlotte wrote Jane Eyre, which might just be the holiest place for LEL.  But I can definitely tell you that the Yorkshire Penines were probably pretty bleak in the winter.  Not sure I'd want to live there, but a lovely place to visit.  CLM, though, wasn't impressed, and began to act out a little.  Our walk back to the car allowed us to see an hedgehog walking along the path, which is pretty darn cool.  We then headed further north to Gateshead, home of the Angel of the North.

This might be Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle

But before that, we had to stay a night in a Travelodge right outside Newcastle.  The room, along with CLM being cranky, decided for us that Edinburgh wasn't to be on this trip.  So we decided to head back to Blackpool until it was time to head South.  First, though, the Angel of the North.  (Or the Giant Flasher, if you will.)  Here's a photo of that:

I'll continue more later.

My Inner Lester Bangs: Common People

As we head out on R&R tonight, I decided I'd do one last MILB to finish the week off right.  In doing so, I chose a song from seminal BritPop band, Pulp.  The logical connection on this being that Pulp is from Sheffield, as is Lovely English Lass.  We'll be going to Sheffield on this trip... I think you can see where I'm going with this.  Of course it could have been Joe Cocker or Def Leppard if it was only by Sheffield.  Or the Arctic Monkeys for that matter.

Anyways, I chose Pulp because of two main reasons: 1) Most of my American Friends probably never heard this song or of this band, and 2) they really should have if they haven't.  Talk about an eclectic band!  They have an electric violinist, a keyboardist, drummer, bass and two guitars along with the lead singer.  Jarvis Cocker is probably one of the best front men you'll ever see in rock music.  If you've seen the "Harry Potter" movies, he plays the lead singer for the Weird Sisters band.  String bean thin, and constant energy throughout the entire show, you can't help but watch him move around.  Even nearing 50 he's a blur of motion.  The origins of the band start in 1978, and they played continually until 2001.  They then took a break and reunited in 2011.  They have staying power, and a great sound to boot.

Now, onto the song.  During his performance at the Reading Festival in 2011, Jarvis talked about "Common People" before playing it.  Bands with one huge hit sometimes have a love/hate relationship with their song.  Kurt Cobain felt that way about "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and I know Chesney Hawkes feels that way about "The One and Only" because a friend of mine sat next to him at a concert and started singing it and he told her to shut up.  Jarvis said, basically, if Pulp were only known for this one song he'd be ok with that, because it's a good song.  He then makes a joke about how Black Lace are only known for Agadoo, so it could be worse.

The background of the song is that in the late 80s early 90s in London there was a set of people that were upper-middle to upper class that wanted to pretend they were poor.  It wasn't anything really new, to be honest.  (As much as I love Joe Strummer and The Clash, he was still the son of a British Diplomat.  He had a fake cockney accent.  I think Chelsea footballer Frank Lampard also fits into this as well.)  But there was a sudden interest in this during this time period.  Even Blur's song, "Parklife" was a bit like this.  A feeling of the real salt of the earth people being the lower classes.  Basically people wanted to do an anthropological study of the lower classes.

So the song actually starts autobiographically, as Jarvis is approached by a rich Greek girl studying at St. Martins College about wanting to live like common people.  That actually happened.  She told him she wanted to live in Hackney like the common people. The narrator of the song then takes her places where "common people" go and shows her that it's not all it's cracked up to be.  But he also tells her that even if she  gets a place where "Roaches climb the walls" that she'll never be a common person, because all she'll have to do is call her rich father and he can take her out of all of it.

Jarvis is pointing out some things here that needed to be said at the time.  What he's saying is, "Look, it's all nice and good that you want to be like us, but this is our life, and you're just doing this to be fashionable."  The bridge of this song is just awesome:

Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.

Brilliant, and spot on.  No one wants to think they've had the piss taken out of them by imitation.  They mock those people who try to act less than what they are in life.  It's a certainty.  Some people can actually pull this off.  The best politicians can do it.  Think: Roosevelt was a man that was extremely rich, but made the majority of the country feel like he felt their pain. Kennedy was the same way.  George W. Bush was the son of a President, born in Connecticut and went to an Ivy League school, but people considered him someone they'd like to have a beer with.  Al Gore had a lot of the same pedigree as GWB, but he's still mocked for being uptight and wooden.  Same with John Kerry.  It's difficult to do.

This song is just brilliant, as I've stated before.  Pulp came of age in Sheffield right during the time when the factories were starting to close, so they saw hardship and prosperous areas losing everything.  The 1980s were not kind to the north of England, and as I know full well, the North is filled with some very proud people.  (Especially Yorkshire but also Merseyside and Lancashire.)  Southern Football fans would come North to play teams like Sheffield United, Man U or Liverpool and wave wads of cash at the opposing fans.  So I can see how he would have been offended by the people of the "Soft South" making sport about being "common."

Needless to say, the song sounds just as great today as when it was released back in the 90s.  Youtube has the video of them from Reading in 2011, and I think you should watch it.  Pulp should be remembered for more than just this song.  But as he says, it's ok if they are, because it's a great song.

Sickness before R&R

One of the most cherished things given to people working overseas is, depending on the post you are at, you get an R&R.  We didn't get one in Luxembourg, and I didn't get one in London, but we get two here in Johannesburg.  (It's because of the crime and other issues.  I won't go into it, but if you want more info email me and I'll sort it out for you.)

Anyways, since we've been here a year, it's time for us to head out on our R&R.  So to the UK we head.  London to Blackpool to Sheffield to Gateshead to Edinburgh to Devon to Bath to Cornwall to London.  It's going to be AWESOME.  Crazy Little Man has never been to the UK outside of the womb, and we haven't been back to visit friends and family there since early 2009.  So, it'll be an adventure.  Or disaster. It's about 50/50 right now.  I'll keep you informed.

One of the things you don't want, though, is to get sick while on R&R.  You want to be able to enjoy it.  The best thing is to get sick right before you go or right after you get home.  Since the weather here has been crazy, it looks like we're going to do the before.  And probably the after as well.

Since Lovely English Lass is on the clock, and hasn't worked long enough to earn sick or annual leave, I had to work from home a bit last week to take care of CLM as he was ill.  Temp kept at a low grade, but was persistent.  Then on Thursday LEL got ill as well.  The Doctor at the Consulate sent her home, saying she needed some rest.  Friday she was doing a bit better and went into work in the afternoon as I worked from home again.  Then, I started to feel bad as well.  So Sunday and into Monday I got the sickness.

We're just waiting to see if Lovely Little Girl comes down with it as well.  The problem with her is she doesn't get down and sad like CLM.  She gets hyper.  She'll never admit to being sick, and is ADAMENT that she's fine.  Meanwhile she'll have a temp and a runny nose and will obviously need to be in bed.  Hopefully it's passed her by and she'll be fine.

So Friday night we have to go to the airport for our 8 pm flight to London.  Hopefully the kids will sleep and we'll get a full nights rest out of them.  When we get there we have about a 3 1/2 hour drive ahead of us, so no rest for the wicked.  But we will have a great time, and I'm certainly looking forward to it.  England has just always felt right to me.  And it's time for the kids to see the other side of where they are from.

My Inner Lester Bangs: "I'd Die Without You" by P.M. Dawn

So while the early 1990s are probably best remembered for Grunge and Gangster Rap, in reality one of the largest exports from the US in terms of music was the R&B love song.  There were TONS of groups out there making songs about love, hurt, loss and pain.  If you were a lovelorn teenager during that time period (and I think we've already established that in fact I was) then this area was ripe for you to be sitting in your room listening to sad music pining for the girl that just broke your heart.  (And since that happened to me about once a month, according to some, then I listened to a lot of sad songs about love and loss.)

In the movie and the book, High Fidelity, Nick Hornby wrote the following:

“What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

Brilliant, eh?  Hornby is one of my favorite writers, and not just because his stories remind me a lot of my friends.  He also wrote an entire book where he donated the proceeds for the school where his child on the spectrum goes.  So... lots of overlap.

Anyways, back to the music.  In the early 1990s there were a slew of R&B groups that came out and made very sad songs.  Boyz II Men of course were the kings with, "On Bended Knee", "End of the Road" and basically any other song off either the Boomerang Soundtrack or their second album.  All 4 One came in with "I Swear" which they ripped off of a country singer.  Jodeci had, "Forever My Lady" and "Lately."  There was even a group called Shai that had one hit called, "Comforter."  It wasn't about a duvet, people.

Probably the most interesting of these groups was P.M. Dawn.  Two brothers, Prince Be and JC the Eternal, burst onto the scene with "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss," a song buoyed by the sampling of "True" by Spandau Ballet and their looks.  One was very heavy, one very tall and thin, and both wore a lot of paisley and small glasses.  Great look, and one that seemed to work well for them.

Then came "I'd Die Without You" from 1992.  It was on the Boomerang Soundtrack, and it was overshadowed on that soundtrack by Boyz II Men's "End of the Road" which was the longest serving #1 on the charts at that time.  But I think "I'd Die Without You" was a better song.  Heresy, I know.

Go and listen to them again.  "End of the Road" is a bit over drawn out with a larger sound.  Even the spoken part is a bit much.  Meanwhile, "I'd Die Without You" is a piano based song that is based off more the emotion, rather than the feeling.  You can feel "End of the Road."  "I'd Die Without You" is deeper.  It hits you in the gut because of its simplicity, and the never release of the piano in the background.  The walking bass is a nice touch as well.  The finger snaps at the beginning and end also add a simplicity that was missing at the time from R&B.  And at the end when one of the snaps isn't in synch it makes you pay more attention than you would normally to it.

The lyrics are also just brilliant.  I always saw it as a guy losing his girl that he's wronged in the past, and trying to keep her around, but not being able to do it.  "Is it my turn to hold you by the hands, tell you I love you and you not hear me?  Is it my turn to totally understand to watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing?" Or: "Is it my turn to be the one to cry?  Isn't it amazing how somethings just completely turn around."  These are fantastic lyrics.

Listen to this song and tell me it doesn't give you a reaction in some way.  I mean I heard it fit pretty well within the context of the movie, but man does it hit you even without the movie!  You can picture me probably as a 16 year old in 1992 hurting because the girl I liked didn't like me.  (And before I get a bunch of, "You Wuss" comments, guys do think like that too.  If you don't believe me, go back and listen to some of the songs from the 50s and 60s.  They had that same reaction back then.  It's universal.)

I'm sad that kids these days have no idea probably of P.M. Dawn.  JC the Eternal left the group and Prince Be had  two strokes and lost his leg to diabetes.  Still, I hope they have a revival some day.  This song is WAY better than Justin Bieber trying to be Justin Timerlake in his last video, and it'd be nice to have people appreciate it for what it was: a great song that made itself unique in a time when it could have just blended in.  Give it a listen and let me know what you think.

Words Can't describe

So I've been having a pretty bad day at work.  It's been very rough, and Crazy Little Man is at home sick, and everyone is feeling a bit ill.  And then I get an email from Lovely Little Girl's teacher in her school.  The main stream one.  The one that we figured wasn't going to happen, after being rejected by the remedial schools in the area because we needed to lower our expecations.  She talked about how much she loves having LLG in her class, and then attached this picture:

Yeah, my girl with fine and gross motorskill delays wrote this.

You know, that almost made me cry at work.  I mean, my little girl is obsessed with Hello Kitty (as you can tell) but she draws pretty well, and I could read that without the subtitles.

So, schools that told us she wouldn't cut it in your school because she wasn't ready, let me just say this once again: You suck!  My little girl is going to succeed, and you've lost your chance to have an amazing child in your classes.  Next time, actually get to know the child before you pass judgement.  My girl is going to be fine.

My Inner Lester Bangs Friday: Ho Hey

Sometimes I miss discovering a random song some place, because it was always so satisfying finding something new and then trying to actually buy it.  The last time I heard a song while out and about that wasn't on the radio that I had to buy was "Soul Meets Body" from Death Cab for Cutie.  Nowadays, to find new music can be something neigh on impossible unless radio picks it up.  And I'm sorry, but Crazy Little Man's favorite song, "Payphone" doesn't do it for me.  (Although this mashup of "Payphone" and "Call Me Maybe" is quite good.)  Sadly musicians now use their songs for ads to get it out there, which can kill great songs because you hear it too often.

One of these songs, "Ho Hey" from The Lumineers, really caught my attention.  Here in South Africa, Lovely English Lass and I like to watch Hulu so we can keep up to date with our TV shows in the US. (Parks and Recreation being the main one.)  For about a month, one of the commercials on Hulu was for Bing.  The song was "Ho Hey" and the commercial was about a guy taking a trip to Hawaii.  Oddly enough, it actually fit the song quite well.

The Lumineers are a folk-rock trio from Denver.  It includes a guitar, a mandolin and a cello.  How can you not dig this?  The entire album sounds like it was recorded in a coffee shop somewhere.  The lead singer's voice is fantastic for folk music, and I'm sure it could move into other genres too.  However he has the vibe you look for in folk, like the lead singer from Mumford and Son.  

Now, onto the song "Ho Hey".  I'll try to describe what I thought of the first time I heard the song, so bear with me.  The sound of the song evokes a campfire on the beach, with friends sitting around singing a song together in the night.  Hokey I know, but seriously that's what I got.  Or a popular local band playing a small club with a lot of fans who know all the songs by heart, and probably party with the band after the gigs.  This intimacy gives you a feeling of being there.  You can feel the bass drum when it starts off the song, and hear the people chanting, "Ho......Hey.....Ho..."

Most of all, it's a song of longing and want.  The singer tells of the girl he loves, and is obviously not his.  Everyone knows the pain you have felt when the person you think you're supposed to be with is with someone else.  It almost feels like you're bleeding, the pain and drain is so much.  So he writes a song about this hurt telling the girl of his dreams that she's not with the right guy.  How can you not get with that?  I mean, that's universal right there.  Heck I had to talk my own wife into dating me, so I understand being put off by women.

In short you should give this a chance.  Maybe it'll spawn more music that's not emo or "Payphone" and we can have another good music revolution.

One last thought.  Songs should take you to a place when you hear them.  Whether it's the beat, the lyrics or even just the chorus, you hopefully feel something when you hear it.  The very first time I heard this song, I was immediately transported to the front lawn of a house in Suriname, sitting under the stars while three of my Peace Corps friends played guitar and all of us sang along.  The song was "Wish You Were Here", but this song evoked that time for me.  It's a happy memory, and one that I cherish.  So I think that the song did what it was supposed to do for me.  Give it a listen.