The ICASS Survey

At the Consulate, I basically run a Customer Service Organization.  We deal with customers all the time, and my salary is actually paid by the people who I serve.  This is all done through a Cost-Sharing mechanism called ICASS.  ICASS stands for International Cooperative Administrative Support Services.  Basically, we take all the things we offer here Management-wise (HR, Procurement, Motor Pool, etc.) and break it down by usage.  Offices subscribe to what they want, and we charge them based off how many people are in their offices.  Simple right?  Not really, but that's as simple as it gets.

Now, every year around this time worldwide, we do a survey to see how we're doing.  Basically we ask everyone, local and US, who works at the Embassy or Consulate can fill in the survey.  It's anonymous, and you rate how satisfied you are with the services you've received.  But there's more!  Not only can the US officers reply, but so can their spouses or significant others, or their children older than 16 that reside at home!  This means you can have over 100% reply rate.

Why am I telling you this when you didn't ask and probably don't care?  Well, right now I'm in the midst of trying to get people to do the survey.  Many other Management Officers have done things like doing videos on YouTube to promote the survey.  (Go to YouTube and try searching for ICASS Music Video.  Not going to link to it because I don't want to encourage other FS officers to try their hand at singing.)

I've been wracking my brain trying to find a way to inspire my Consulate to get going and fill out the forms.  I've tried the, "We won't know what needs to be fixed if you don't tell us" route.  I've tried the, "If you don't take the time to fill out the form, then you can't complain" route.  I even tried nagging.

Then I hit upon two great ideas.  Not just a brain storm, but a head hurricane.  A veritable brain blizzard.  Since Lovely English Lass bought me an Ice Cream Maker for Christmas, and I've been getting a lot of practice using it lately, why not have an ice cream party for the section with the highest percentage of votes?  And what if at that party the head of the section with the highest percentage of votes got to hit me in the face with a whipped cream pie?  That's certainly worked in the past.

(Short digression: When I was a Senior at University, I ran the yearly auction for the University's band to raise funds.  After we ran out of things to auction, it was suggested that I put myself up to be hit by a pie in the face.  So I agreed.  Then, to my horror, I saw two of my exes get together to pool their money and drive up the price!  Yeah, that wasn't fun at all.  I kept waiting for them to argue over who got to do it, basing off of which one I'd wronged the most.  That didn't happen though, as they were very lady-like in deciding who would cram a pie in my face.  I probably deserved it.  Digression over.)

So I sent out my email today with the added bonus of the pie in the face.  The only person that read it was my boss, which is what I always suspected.  However, to ensure that EVERYONE saw it, he then sent it back out to everyone in the Consulate, ensuring that it was read by everybody.

Well, now I have no choice but to go through with it.  Hopefully it won't be someone with a vendetta against me hitting me in the face with a pie.  (I have delicate features, thank you.)  But it is a necessary evil.  If I'm to provide good service to my customers, then I need to hear what they have to say.  This is the best way to do it.  So if I have to make ice cream for people who will then cheer as I get hit in the face with a pie, then that's what I'll do.  Just so I don't have to sing.  NO ONE deserves that.